Dennis Najee’s Weblog

1. Avoid any sex party that doesn’t have any rules. Rules mean that you get to say who, you get to say where, and you get to say when.

2. Orgies work best when you’re feeling brave, jealousy-free, and perhaps slightly detached. Meaning, a hump buddy makes a great orgy date.

3. If going with a significant other make sure that you’re both equally into the idea. And agree in advance exactly how far you’re willing to go. There is nothing worse than one wanting to go all the way while the other suddenly wants to stop.

4. Orgies with themes–e.g. Venetian masks–are pleasantly festive and might help make the eventual group nudity feel a little more normal.

5. Be selective in what sex party you choose. If you are worried about being with someone older than your dad (although that is a fetish for many), then do some research to find the age requirements. A rule of thumb, the more difficult it is to get into, the better the party is likely to be.

6. Plan on traveling if your are worried about bumping into someone you know. Of course, keep in mind, he or she is there for the same reason you are.

7. Watch you alcohol intake. Having a few to take the nervous edge of is alright. However, dont get stumbling drunk. First, that is an easy way never to get invited back. Second, you might do something that you are sorry for.

8. The best orgies have a close to equal breakdown of men and women. Try to avoid those where they allow too many single guys-this turns into a gangbang (another type of party altogether).

9. Safe sex. Enough said.

10. Avoid the sex parties that take place at the local seedy motel. This seems like common sense but you would be surprised how many show up to the affairs. Try to find the ones that are hosted in people’s homes. The calibar of people is much better.

social bookmarking links:

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

Do you know what it feels like to have one completely submit to you? This is a feeling that is beyond explanation. As a Dom, there is a streak within Me that can only be satisfied by the total exchange of power by another. When she gives herself fully to Me, that is when the itch is scratched.

Many on the outside cannot understand what transpires within One who is in this lifestyle. We are looked at as weird or perverts. This is far from the truth. The desire to control another is imbedded within Us. It is the same as the desire to serve within a sub. This is simply a way that W/we are programmed. For Me, the only way to satisfy that is to find one who will submit.

Rough sex is an act that many from all walks of life engage in. There are many who will sexually dominate their partners during sex. “Dirty” talk is quite common. Words such as “slut”, “whore”, and “cunt” are used to enhance the experience. Also, there are many swingers who engage in the active sexual lifestyle. They choose a model that is different from the monogamous norm. Yet they return to their daily lives after the playing is done. Well, so do W/we in many regards.

The power to be in control is a phenominal sensation. However, it comes with responsibility. When one submits fully to you, she ceded all power over her life. It is now Yours. To derive the full benefit out of that power, One must use it wisely while respecting the responsibility that goes along with it. The payoff is grand.

social bookmarking links:

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

To add a bit of levity to our Saturday, please tell us what is your favorite sexual position. Please choose from the list below. Post your comments with your answers.

Please choose from the list below.

social bookmarking links:

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

We mentioned a few days ago the Top 10 Female Fantasies. To give equal time, we will list the Top 10 Lesbian Fantasies. This is an interesting difference from what heterosexual women dream about. You will notice there are some similarities.

social bookmarking links:

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

This is the aspect of the BDSM world that most cannot understand. They ask “why would anyone want to be beaten”. It is a dumbfounding idea until you look at what is really transpiring in the brain.

Most can identify with the concept of the “runner’s high”. This is something those who run regularly can achieve. Basically, their body hurts until they get their second wind. What actually occurs is the brain releases endorphins which stimulate activity within the body. At this point, the runner begins to feel like he or she just started running. Of course, not being a runner myself this is what I am told.

The pain that a sub/slave experiences is similar. While the actualy whipping might cause a sensation we refer to as “painful”, the mind overrides this feeling. Like with the runner, the brain will release endorphins which counteract the pain. Many have termed this entering into “subspace”. A trancelike state can be achieved once these are released.

Another interesting conclusion is that the part of the brain which registers pain overlaps with the part that experiences sexual pleasure. This is why many get the pain/pleasure sensation. They feel the pain of the item being used on them while being sexually turned on. It is a good idea to engage in sex while doing this if possible. It will increase her pleasure.

Many have feared this lifestyle because of the pain element. Like always, this is not something for everyone. I would estimate only about 10% of the subs/slaves are “pain sluts”. Yet many find they enjoy a degree of S&M. This might be limited to a light spanking; or perhaps a paddling. Either way, there is pleasure to be derived from implementing this into your sexual activities.

social bookmarking links:

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

I recently came across a thread on this forum that talked about captivity as a fantasy. It was incredible the number of women there who found this to be appealing. Therefore, for the benefit of all the readers here I will outline it. Perhaps this is something to bring up with your partner to see her interest. Keep in mind it is best if she is submissive (or he if applicable).

This fantasy is derived from the old kidnapping scenes in old movies. The basic idea is that one is held against her will in a “basement” type (or dungeon) environment. She is completely at the mercy of her captive. They use her in every way while giving her only the basic necessities of life. She has a toilet, something to sleep on, and is given basic food. The concept is that the conditions are far from regal.

This fantasy strikes at a submissives essense. There is complete powerness is a situation such as this. Obviously, for this to occur in reality is a traumatic experience. Yet as a fantasy and scene it can be wonderul. Come up with ways to recreate this in your relationship. Could you take her captive for a weekend? Perhaps set up a room with everything out of it. Make her sleep on the floor will you occassionally use her. Make it as realistic as possible.

As always, discuss the parameters going in. What are the bounds of activity which cannot be crossed? Will others be involved? What is the safe word to call the entire thing off? What steps can she take in case of an emergency? We always promote safety first here. However, after that, enjoy yourself.

Here is something that would be helpful to know.  What is the top sexual position for women.  In a study done of almost 50,000 women, this position was the favorite by 50%.  This was far ahead of any other single position.  So if you want to pleasure your girl, put her in this position and you have a 50/50 chance of hitting her favorite.

The Position is know in the Kama Sutra as The Emperor.

Remember this the next time you are with that special someone.  Try it and see what results you get.  There is a good chance you will give her something she was craving for a long time.

Here are the top 10 fantasies that women have:

10. Sex With A Stranger: Women dream about the no strings attached sex with someone they meet on the street.

9. Working As A Prostitute Or Stripper: Show me the money. The fantasy of being picked up and used while receiving a c-note excites many women. Turning a man on by doing an exotic striptease is also high on the list.

8. Being Dominated By A Man: The female instinct to be dominated at the most animalistic level runs in high gear in her fantasy. She wants a man to take control her and use her.

7. Being Filmed: The desire to be admired while performing is exciting to many.

6. Fantasies Involving Romantic Sex: The moonlit beach with a handsome man; sex in front of the fire at a ski lodge-private cabana of course.

5. Group Sex: many different variations are thought about. Commonly women fantasize about mmf or mff. A few take it to the gangbang level.

4. Something You’ve Never Tried Before: a lot of women are in stall relationships and havent tried anything wild. This is something they dream about.

3. Sex with Another Woman: Most women wonder what it is like to be with another woman. This plays out deeper in their fantasies.

2. Sex with a Man Other Than Your Partner: She thinks about your buddies and her co-workers too. Famous people are also a common fantasy. Ever hear of George Clooney?

1. Fantasizing About Your Current Partner: The female species is a loyal bunch when with someone they care for. She will be thinking of you when you arent there.

Be sure to check out the Top 10 Lesbian Fantasies.

social bookmarking links:

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

The dundgeon scene is one of the mainstays in the BDSM world. It is a sexual fantasy of many to be taken in an environment such as this. There are many products on the market which contour to this particular fetish. Many have set up dundgeon scenes in their homes to further the sexual excitement with their subs/slaves.

Who would not be turned on by the sheer animal magnetism of this concept? It is something that we see in movies. The barbarians enter a town and imprison all the townfolk. Their behavior is abysmal with the taking of all they want. Women are raped at will by these horrific beings. W/we have seen it many times in different films over the years.

The fantasy of powerless is really in play her. For a sub to have her body available to be taken in any manner promotes great excitement within her. This is an extension of the normal bondage activities W/we regularly see. Being tied to a bedpost has a certain flair to it. Yet it does not compare to being tied to a piece of aparatus in a cold, dreary room. This is where one is taken back to the ancient times. Comfort is not something that is high on the priority list.

This is a fantasy that is a bit extreme for many. However, it is fairly common among people in this lifestyle. It illustrates how O/one is only limited by the imagination. The BDSM way of life allows for great sexual pleasure in many different ways. It is why so many of us love it.

social bookmarking links:

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

I wrote earlier about erotic humiliation and it seems the response was overwhelming. Many of you indicated a desire to know some more about it. If you havent done so, I suggest you read the post titled “Erotic Humiliation“

This differs greatly from humiliation. It is much different than calling some ugly, or stupid, or a loser. These terms are usually done in a way to put the other down. When repeated over a long enough period of time, the person starts to internalize these concepts. The main intention is to degrade the other person to make oneself feel better.

Erotic humiliation differs in that it is designed to stimulate. The goal is to increase the pleasure of both participants. Obviously, this is done within the sexual arena even though it can transcend the bounds of sex. Often, the humiliation will be done in front of others yet the result is the same: the turning on of both partners.

This is not something that is for everyone. New people seem to think that this is a degrading of them. It is not. This is typically something that occurs between two who are committed in some way to a D/s relationship; even if it is just for a scene. The Dom gets off on the “degrading” of the sub; she gets off on the further stimulation of her submissive side. It is a win/win for both. If it is not, this is something that should be avoided until there is the proper amount of communication.

How does one humiliate another in this fashion. Some of the commonly used ways are using typically thought as degrading terms. Are you a slut? Whore? Fuckpiece? This is how a Dom can refer to you as. This is further enhanced when done in front of others. Perhaps you are dressed in revealing clothes and made to go out in public. Or it could be that you wear none at all. He might make you do things you commonly wouldnt do in front of others such as pee or masturbate. Treating a sub as a small child is another way to add humiliation to the relationship. The possibilities are endless.

Naturally, this is best done with one who has a healthy esteem. It is all part of the lifestyle that one chooses. Since this is consensual in nature (nobody can be forced into a D/s or M/s relationship-there are laws which outlaw that),it is best to communicate what the common ground is. This is not for everyone. However, for those who are open to it, this can enhance the sexual experience. Many get so turned on by this that they go at as soon as they get through the door. It can be that stimulating. And the orgasm that one has is intense. Experiment with this to see how turned on you can become.

social bookmarking links:

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::