Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for April, 2008

The ability to be consistent is a sign that one is on the path to emotional mastery. Those who are immature tend to have inconsistent habits and responds. Predicting their behavior is almost impossible. While this is an endearing quality while one is young, it becomes a liability as we age. It can affect all areas of our life.

One who seeks to be an effective Master should strive for the consistency reflected in the mature. The responsibility which goes along with owning a slave is tremendous. A slave depends on consistent behavior from his/her Master. This is one of the bedrock upon which her trust is built. An immature person does not have the ability to properly control another. As mentioned in other entries, one needs first to learn how to control oneself.

Slaves operate the best when they are aware of the parameters that are established by the Master. I have found that a slave can operate within any criteria set up as long as he or she knows what they are. A Master needs to be diligent to ensure that the actions reflect the words spoken. Maintaining discipline within the relationship is one area where this is evident. Behavior will be modeled effectively when one knows what the consequences of actions are. However, when there is uncertainty, a slave’s actions can be equally as inconsistent.

Consistency is a result of proper planning and foresight. It is a Master’s responsibility to set up the training for the slave. This entails determining what the needs are while creating a plan for his/her growth. Constantly changing directions based upon new ideas shows a lack of control over one’s mindset. Again, slaves will pick up on this and begin to question.

Focus all your attention on being consistent in all interactions with your slave.

social bookmarking links:

add to del.icio.us :: Add to Blinkslist :: add to furl :: Digg it :: add to ma.gnolia :: Stumble It! :: add to simpy :: seed the vine :: :: :: TailRank

Read Full Post »

Emotional mastery is one of the vital components that every good Master has. It is impossible to control another if one cannot control oneself. Most of the world’s philosophies have taught this concept for centuries. A slave needs the guidance of a Master yet this is hindered if that person is unstable.

A slave craves consistency which can only come from a stable Master. The world is full of people who respond inconsistently based upon their emotional state in the moment. This is not an effective way for a Master to train a slave. Having consist responses to behaviors allows a slave to trust. Inconsistency destroys this trust.

Many people come from backgrounds that were full of inconsistent behavior. The entering into the Master/slave relationship is done with the intention of getting what was missing in our other relationships. One who is accustomed to dealing with undisciplined people will crave that in a Master. Receiving responses that correspond with the parameters of conduct established allow a slave to grow exponentially.

Learn how to master your emotions. It is beneficial to expect mistakes on the part of a slave and to not react to them. Discipline should never be administered in anger. That is abuse. Punishments should be meted out in proportion to the offense. Controlling of one’s emotions is the foundation by which a good Master operates.

social bookmarking links:

add to del.icio.us :: Add to Blinkslist :: add to furl :: Digg it :: add to ma.gnolia :: Stumble It! :: add to simpy :: seed the vine :: :: :: TailRank

Read Full Post »

I see so many trying to control their slaves through the use of fear. To me, this is one of the most ineffective ways to handle a M/s relationship. Fear and intimidation work well in the short-term. However, if one seeks a long-term Master/slave relationship then it is necessary to find another way.

Psychological control is by far a more effective way to gain control over another human being. In most countries, slavery is an illegal practice. Therefore, anyone entering the M/s relationship needs to give his/her consent. The slave needs to choose the Master who is to be served. A Master who can enter the slave’s psyche will be able to have him or her submitting rather quickly. Removing the fear that exists within a slave is one of the ways to gain the necessary trust for a successful relationship. In reality, those who use fear are utilizing the one technique guaranteed to sabotage the arrangement.

It seems that slaves have a tremendous amount of fear within them. Past relationships have usually resulted in negative consequences which the slave is carrying around. Assisting a slave in tapping into the inner core of his/her being further enhances the submission. It is a Master’s responsibility to help the slave uncover that overwhelming desire to serve which is naturally within.

If you are new to this lifestyle, be wary of anyone who seems to be using fear or intimidation. Seek out someone who is experienced at the psychological aspect of this lifestyle. That is where a slave’s true growth will come from.

social bookmarking links:

add to del.icio.us :: Add to Blinkslist :: add to furl :: Digg it :: add to ma.gnolia :: Stumble It! :: add to simpy :: seed the vine :: :: :: TailRank

Read Full Post »

People look at the M/s relationship as something entirely different than it is.  The key word in this arrangement is relationship.  Somehow individuals approach this way of life completely different than they do all other aspects.  It seems that since we are indulging in an exchange of power, that the basic skills acquired in approaching relationships is forsaken.

Of all the relationships which I was in, the biggest cause of their failure was basic incompatibility.  People seem to overlook this vital component when entering into these situations.  They gravitate to someone who meets the M/s aspect, yet ignore the fact that they are totally incompatible with each other.

A question to ask is “if this were not a M/s relationship, would I hang out with this person?”.  That is the basis for a long-term arrangement; absent this, the situation will tend to be short-term.  Is it any wonder that most Master/slave relationships end after only a few months?  It is difficult to interact with people where there is nothing in common.

Read Full Post »

Nature is one of balance.  Everything has its counterpart which allows for the natural flow of things.  For every yin, there is a yang.

The M/s relationship falls into this category.  We often refer to the power exchange as the basis of these relationships.  But, we also notice that each person compliments the other.  Individuals in this lifestyle tend to be at the far end of the spectrum.  We lean towards being absolute in terms of either domination or submissiveness.  The tendency to desire a split within ourselves is not common.

Each person in these relationships fulfills the other.  It is impossible to submit without having one to submit to.  Also, one cannot dominate unless there is someone to control.  When alone, each is an individual; when together there is fulfillment.

There is also a balance of power.  The total power exchange is done with the Western view of power-strength, aggression, and domination.  A submissive gives up this masculine form of power willingly.  However, she still retains the feminine power which includes adaptability, negotiation, and consensual submissiveness.  Goreans will recognize the two powers Norman described.  Each form of power lends itself to the fulfillment of the other.

Those of us in this lifestyle understand that it is not a one-sided relationship.  A slave who is not having her needs met will tend to wither and die (figuratively speaking).  Her value comes from her ability to serve her Master; it is also where her pleasure comes from.  Abusive Masters overlook this simple yet imperative concept.  The natural order of things necessitates both parts for success.

Read Full Post »