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Archive for May 20th, 2008

Most will argue that it is important to take things slow when entering a M/s relationship. This is certainly a valid point-one that should be heeded. Individual track records will show the failure rates of relationships which were entered into without first getting to know the other person. Lack of compatibility ranks as one of the main reasons why these relationships fail. However, I would like to offer up a contrary view for a moment.

In the vanilla world, most people go through a courting process where they get to know the potential partner. If all goes well during this phase, then the couple might decide to take the next step, moving to a lifelong commitment. By the time these individuals get to the altar, they know each other extremely well. This should increase the likelihood of this relationship succeeding; at least in theory. Reality tells us that more than half of these arrangements end up in divorce.

Yet, there is a small fraction of the people who engage in the whirlwind romance. Everything happens at lightening speed. These individuals meet, fall in love, and get married all within a matter of weeks or months. Naturally, the percentage of these fail although it might be argued with no greater percentage than the previously mentioned route. However, there are couples that we meet who are married for decades who followed this path. Even though they knew each other a short period of time, they just knew they were “made for each other”. It was love at first site. Decades later this couple is still together.

How does this pertain to the M/s world? Well, there are situations where a Master and slave did not know each other particularly well when she submitted to Him. And these relationships succeeded. While I will acknowledge that they are rare, it does happen. Sometimes two experienced people will get together with each knowing what they are looking for. Also, one might know exactly the traits that she desires in an individual. Therefore, when she finds it, the attraction is instant.

I am not writing this to imply that people need to throw caution to the wind. It is important to approach each situation with the proper concern for one’s safety. This is especially true for those who use online to meet others. However, understand that if you find yourself submitting quickly, it might not be the wrong choice. Just a different viewpoint.

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What does it mean when we say that a Master owns His slave mentally? How does One own another mentally? Can thoughts really be owned? These are some questions which I saw posed recently which made me consider this aspect.

It is fairly well known that a slave’s thinking will move towards her Master’s as time progresses. A well trained slave will be able to decide what her Master would do in particular situations if He were there. When a slave is able to make these decisions on her own, her value to her Master increases. Value jumps when a slave is able to accomplish tasks with less intervention from her Master.

However, what about a slave’s thinking? Will she lose all her individual thoughts? My experience is that this is unrealistic. A slave cannot overcome her humanness of which thinking is a part of. Thoughts tend to pop in out of nowhere without rhyme or reason. Slaves are not exempt from this happening. Also, slaves will still carry a series of beliefs with them. Of course, these will change as time passes. This is another human condition. One does not believe the same way at 45 that He did at 25. Experience give a person a different outlook.

It is an impossibility for one not to have her own thoughts and opinions. This is a natural state which will be ever present. The important variable is what is done with those thoughts. A slave might object to something her Master says (the thought) but following through in an obedient fashion is what is important. The same thing with beliefs; a slave might hold a particular viewpoint inside her head but if it stays there it is not a problem. It that point is expressed contrary to her Master’s opinion is when there is difficulty. Finally, a well intentioned slave will learn that most of the things which were meaningful before lose their relevance over time. The depths that one is taken to in the M/s relationship will awaken a feeling that overcomes all else. The desire to serve trumps most other beliefs that a slave entered the relationship with.

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