Archive for May 30th, 2008

Many think that the M/s relationship is the cure-all for whatever ails them. This really seems to be prevalent among those who’s experience is limited to online interaction. It is vitally important to remember that the M/s relationship is just another of the many relationships which people experience in life. It is a method in which like minded people interact.

Just because someone enters into this arena, it does not mean that life stops. The everyday situations which all people encounter still exists. We are not immune to life problems. There are circumstances which are unenviable that must be dealt with. Submitting to another (or receiving the submission) means that we have reconciled a certain aspect of out lives. Issues such as career, health, and family still must be handled accordingly.

I had a situation which exemplifies how this can occur. My last live in slave left me about a year ago. She was a faithful and dedicated submissive. We were both happy and fulfilled in the relationship. One day, she calls me at work to let me know she just received a phone call from back home. Her son was hospitalized with a serious life threatening condition. (Thankfully he made it through and is fine). The course of action which was evident to both of us. She returned to her hometown up north to tend to her family situation. Because of her ex-husband’s inability to deal with things, she was forced to remain to tend to her son.

As you can imagine, this radically changed our relationship. Looking back, there is absolutely no regret with how things transpired. Her place was tending to her offspring. At the time of her leaving, she was not released since she had the intention of returning. When it became apparent that she would not be, I set her free. I find it extremely difficult to have an online relationship after being 24/7 with someone. As important as the M/s relationship was to each of us, her family was a priority.

This example shows how the M/s relationship is susceptible to all the other life influences. I could have just as easily been her boyfriend, new husband, or some guy that she ran away with. Regardless, her course of action would have been the same. The fact that I was her Master did not alter what her priority was.

I am certain there are some who will question the level of commitment that we had to each other based upon how things worked out. There are some Masters who believe they are the only One who matters. Well, I am a believer that the M/s relationship exists in the larger context of life. Anyone with children has a responsibility to tend to them. For me, getting in the way of a woman acting on her maternal instinct is improper.

Also, the fact that she has not returned might be taken as a lack of commitment. Again, I will not impede her fulfilling a responsibility that existed long before I entered the picture. Time and distance make this relationship at a deep level impractical. With no end in sight to her commitment to her family, it is impossible to plan in the future. The reality is that outside issues affected this relationship.

The lesson here is that life still happens. Many brides (or grooms) feel that getting married will solve all their problems. We know that once the honeymoon ends, life hits. Applying the same logic to the M/s lifestyle will yield the same fruitless results.

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Taking one’s online relationship to the real world can be an exciting step. It is why most entered into the relationship to begin with. However, it is crucial that one take a safe approach to meeting her new Master. The precautions should be the same regardless of how long the interaction has been going on.

The Internet is a great way for people to become something they are not. We have all read the stories about people meeting others in person after an online relationship to meet with horrific consequences. Predators come in all forms. What can start as a wonderful experience can turn quickly. Following some of these suggestions can be helpful.

1. Tell a friend what you are doing: Make sure this person has your name, address, phone number (home and cell), car make/model, and tag number.

2. Let this person know the time and place of your meeting. Again have the name of location, address, phone number, and room number if staying overnight.

3. Provide all details that you have of the person you are meeting. Give name, what site you met on, username, instant messenger handles, and an other information you have. If you have a phone number and address, provide that too.

4. Establish times that you will call during your meeting. Start with 15 minutes, then move to an hour, than a couple of hours. Even if you get into a scene, make sure that you take a break to call your friend.

These are some simple but effective ways to ensure your safety. Mention this to your new Master before you meet. Anyone who is real will not have a problem with you taking these steps. If you do meet with some resistance, that is a warning sign. No matter how terrific someone seems online, taking an unnecessary risk with your safety is not worth it. It is better to err on the side of caution.

Hopefully these ideas will help to make your first in person meeting with your Master happy and joyous.

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