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Archive for June, 2008

I recently was reading some posting on a particular website which discussed how different slaves are treated.  There were some who believed that all slaves are to be treated the same; others who felt that they need to be treated as individuals.  It was a lively discussion which went back and forth.  It is interesting to notice the logic people seem to use when making their arguments.

My experience leads me to believe that a slave needs to be treated as an individual.  This seems contrary to many opinions that are out there.  Unfortunately, as with a great many apects of this lifestyle, common sense goes out the window.  People seem to get into theory more than practicle experience.

Those who have multiple children will understand this perfectly.  Owning multiple slaves is like having multiple kids.  Each has their own personalities and interests.  Depending on the age of each child, a parent will give more or less latitude based upon that age.  A child is not treated the same at 14 as he or she is at 7.  There are different responsibilities each is able to handle.  Certain things work with one child which does not work with the other.  For one child a “C” in school may be the best that one can do.  For the other, a “B” maybe a shortcoming.  Each is treated differently based upon their capabilities.

With slaves, each is capable of different things.  Lets use sex as an example.  Some can do some amazing things in the bedroom.  Their bodies are flexible allowing for a variety of position which another might not be able to attain.  Also, there are different likes which makes it more interesting.  While a slave will adhere to her Masters wishes to allow anal, it is not as enjoyable as doing it with someone who really loves sex that way.  The difference in a slaves desires makes for a different experience.

Pain is another area which exemplifies this.  Some truly love the sensation of leather or other objects against their body.  Again, while a slave’s place is to allow her Master to do whatever He desires, his enjoyment is lessened if it is not something that she truly loves.  She will go along yet will not be as into it as someone who truly loves the pain.  Another difference which will alter a Master’s experience with it.

Experience is also something that dictates a varying of treatment.  Someone who was with a Master for 15 years has a certain rapport with that One as opposed to someone new.  They will know each others behaviors and attitudes.  This will allow for more to be unspoken.  With the new one, everything has to be spelled out.  Trust, a basic component of this lifestyle, is built over time.  The new one needs to earn it just like the older one did.

Managing slaves using the same approach is no more effective than managing people in the work place with this same method.  Each is an individual with different responses to different situations.  Expecting the same out of each is impossible since no two people will ever be at the same place at the same time.  People are individuals, thus necessitating the need to be treated as such.

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A M/s relationship can be a wonderful way of life for many. However, it is not something that will solve all of O/one’s problem. In fact, the M/s relationship will only magnify other issues which are present in a relationship. People who enter this way of life seeking to solve their problems are greatly disappointed.

What makes this lifestyle different from others is the power distribution. Since there is a total power exchange, roles become clearly defined. There is a Master and a slave. Each knows exactly what their responsibilities are. There is no confusion as to which partner is leading or following. The same typically cannot be said in the traditional arena. The lines of “authority” tend to get blurred. They are clear in the M/s relationship.

Individual shortcomings are magnified. Leadership was discussed in the last post. One cannot shirk his responsibility in this area. If He is not capable of leading the relationship, that will become evident. The same is also true for a bad relationship. This will not be made better by transforming into the M/s lifestyle. A good relationship will be enhanced in the same way. All the good qualities of each individual is further magnified. Unfortunately, so are the bad ones.

This is something to really keep in mind when getting involved with another. Someone who is a liar, a cheat, or basically not a good person will make a lousy Master. Submitting to this type of individual is a bad decision. Likewise, having a slave who is less than admirable in terms of her qualities will equally have devastating effects. Character is important in any type of relationship. The M/s situation only magnifies it.

So use your head when entering this way of life. Do not be misled into thinking that it will solve all Y/your problems. In fact, the reverse can be true. It can enhance the problematic areas rather quickly. Many have learned this lesson the hard way.

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Many get in this lifestyle thinking this is the answer to all of life’s problems. Unfortunately, it is not. Life still happens. Masters need to be especially attentive to life. We simply cannot overlook our obligations because one submits to us. There needs to be the proper balance in our lives to handle each situation.

The tendency to focus on something new is basic among humans. We like the excitement that comes with anything that is different. A new slave fits into this category. On the reverse side, slaves experience the same sensations when they first submit. The desire to interact with a Master is great. One might have the thirst for talking/chatting with a slave throughout the entire day. Of course, this can have some adverse effects depending on One’s place in life.

Few of us are in the position where we can overlook something such as work. This is a responsibility which we need to attend to. Also, family obligations exist regardless of what type of lifestyle W/we pursue. Kids still need our attention and care. This entire situation gets magnified when One owns multiple slaves. The time required to assist each in her progress becomes a continual juggling act. This is where a Master needs to know when to step back.

Often, I will turn off my computer for an evening to the dismay of my slaves. It is something that I need to do. When they call, I will be brief with my conversations. Some will understand that I need this “me time”. Some, unfortunately, do not grasp this concept. Nevertheless, it is something that I need to do. There are a lot of different responsibilities which I carry. For me to be effective, I need to do what is best for my conditioning.

Do not overlook the details of Your life. Failure to do this will come back with negative consequences. Owning a slave(s) can be one of the most exciting things in our lifestyle. However, the challenges can be daunting. Each will want to occupy Your time. And when they don’t receive the attention, they will begin to feel that You are angry or upset with them. This is the inferiority conditioning that many slaves initially have. As a Master, I need to focus on all involved. This includes not only my slaves, but also my business associates, work personnel, family members, and spiritual comrades. Overlooking these other people will cause a lot of rift in my life.

Masters need to take charge. Whatever the reason for Your decisions, make sure You are using sound reasoning when attending to Your different activities. Sometimes a slave just needs to accept that she needs to wait. I find those who have experienced a fair amount of growth handle this with more understanding than the newer ones. A slave will not agree with every decision her Master makes. This is where One’s leadership abilities come into play. Take charge even when Your selections are not well received. That is part of what being a Master is all about.

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This is a word that the business world has torn apart.  Many have analyzed what make one a good leader.  People have also delved into why someone fails to properly lead when put into that position.  Of course, this is too broad a topic to fully disect here.  However, there are a few points that we need to discuss.

A Master is responsible for providing leadership in the relationship.  This is something that many desire to have yet fail to fulfill once they have it.  Being a leader entails being responsible for all that occurs.  As one President liked to say “the buck stops here”.  Many default to the blame mindset; they want to blame others whenever something goes wrong.  It is much easier to do this as compared to personally taking responsibility for what transpires.

Whenever I hear One discussing the breakup of His M/s relationship, I am astounded how few take the proper responsibility for what occurred.   It is common to hear how the slave did everything wrong.  The “if she only” mindset oozes out of every pore.  My quesion is “who was responsible for her”.  Once a Master determines that one is cut out to be a slave, it is His obligation to steer the relationship forward.  Naturally, there are situations that will not work out and where a parting of ways is necessary.  However, it rarely can be solely attributed to the slave’s shortcomings.  A true Master takes responsibility for what happens.

Leadership is not about bossing another around.  Many seem to feel that being dictatorial is how One leads.  This is not.  What this shows is really how insecure One is.  Witness some of the great leaders in history.  Rarely were they yelling at their men.  They were calm in the face of adversity.  Emotional control (mentioned in a number of other posts) is their demeanor.  They were willing to accept the responsbility for the outcome, both positive and negative.

What does all this have to do with the M/s relationship?  This pertains to uncovering One’s willingness to take responsbility for His slave’s grow.  What are you willing to do to make her more valauble?  Too often I see Masters getting their rocks off by having a slave repeatedly perform a task which demeans her.  I am all for the occasional ego-deflation.  It is a necessary part of training.  However, if there is not a solid reason for having a slave do soemthing, why is she doing it?

Here is an example which I heard a number of Masters do.  Webcams are a common in this age.  I heard of a number of Masters having their slaves watch while they were serviced by another.  What struck me as odd, is that they required this on numerous occasions.  When questioned, there was no viable answer for doing this other than for the Master’s pleasure.  Again, I can see this as a way to test the slave; to get her to show her willingness and commitment.  But repeatedly doing this does not seem to enhance her growth at all.  Where is the betterment of her as a slave?  This is what I see as lacking in the leadership department.

A true leader has a reason for having one engage in a particular activity.  His life is improved by her following through on the action.  Of course, not everything is done with a clear lesson or growth opportunity in mind.  Sometimes, One wants to have fun.  However, repreated degrading of a slave shows One lacks in the leadership department.  Is that the best You have to offer a slave?  Unless one is being trained to be a voyeur, there needs to be more to the relationship.

Failure to fulfill Your responsibility will lead to a failed relationship.  Those who cannot accept their part in it are doomed to repeat it again.  Sadly, the vast percentage of relationships end in breakup.  This is a fact of life.  Getting two people to merge their lives together in any capacity is difficult.  Yet it is magnified when one or both parties fail to uphold their part in it.  In the M/s world, leadership must come from the Master.

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Part of a Master’s responsibility to a slave is to find her limits. Also, once those limits are found, a good will Master will assist her is surpassing those limits. The main focus for a slave is growth. If a slave is growing, she is increasing to value. Unfortunately, the opposite is also true.

When people typically think of limits, the first ideas that come to mind are either sexually or in terms of pain. Often these are the initial areas that a Master will concentrate upon. Expanding a slave sexually to be able to serve Him is important. Also, some slaves reject the idea of pain only to find later that they really enjoyed it. Many are surprised at how much they can endure while coming to like the sensations felt. Of course, there are some who cannot tolerate much. Even the most experienced Master finds that there are limits to each slave that cannot be overcome. To force past it is abuse in my opinion. One wants to coax a slave to go beyond what she can initially take.

Leaving the sexual aspect of the lifestyle aside, there are other limits which slaves enter the relationship with. Many seem to have esteem issues that limit what they will undertake. An effective Master will see what a slave is capable of. Is she only able to handle household chores? What about her abilities in her profession? Is that something a Master can use to His benefit? Most are natural caretakers. Is this something that will help with a family situation? The bottom line is that a Master needs to look at all that a slave does and try to enlarge her capabilities. The starting point for me always seems to be in the area of self-confidence. As this grows, so does her ability to perform.

One final thought, it is important for a Master to understand when a limit was reached. Many will try to force past it. Again, I believe this to be abuse. A slave cannot perform every task assigned to her regardless of her desire. There are some things which are beyond her abilities. For example, I could beat a slave daily in an effort to get her to dunk a basketball. If she is not able to do it, added motivation will not enhance her ability to perform. By the way, I cannot dunk on either so it is a limitation that this One has also.

Find the limits and try to go beyond them. Yet remember, we want to avoid long-term harm by damaging our slaves mentally. If there is a limit which cannot be overcome, pull back.

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It seems that when people approach this lifestyle, all common sense goes out the window. In the past, we covered this topic some, but recent events lead me to bring it up again. Some of what I witness out there is absolutely baffling. Of course, much of this behavior is online which can lead one to question how applicable it is. Nevertheless, I would like to take the time to refer to some simple practices which can help.

To begin, safety is the most important factor. With all the publicity that “online dating gone horrifically bad” has received, I am astounded at the vulnerable positions people put themselves into. Whether one is dealing within the M/s community or vanilla relationships, the rules of safety still apply. Recently I posted some ideas which were suggestions to make your first meeting a safe one. Again, this is where common sense goes out the window. Here is a hint: meeting someone alone who you met online yet have failed to meet in person is not a good idea. Get together in a public place, but avoid the hotel room/their place until a later time.

Secondly, in the traditional world, most would not consider marrying someone on the first date. Yet, once someone decides he/she wants to submit, the next available person seems to be the One. They are ready to make a full commitment based upon a few conversations. Instead, use that time to get to know each other. If it is a long distance situation, submit with the intention of uncovering and learning about the other. This will give you the time to determine if there is more than just the M/s commonality there. While things can sometimes move quickly for some, this is the exception and not the rule.

Finally, while this is new to most, the general rules for relationship interaction is still in play. Just because W/we assume the roles of Master or slave, that does not mean that common courtesies go away. Also, lying, cheating, or manipulating is never a good idea. These qualities instantly destroy the trust foundation. Enter the relationship seeking what you can give (yes this applies to Masters also). Relationships where one party is continually taking are destined to fail. Regardless of the position you have in the relationship, honor and respect the other person. If you are a Master, focus Your attention on the growth of Your slave. This will do more to ensure her commitment to You than any amount of punishment ever could.

In conclusion, be smart. This is a way of life that many of us choose. Like most people, we all strive to enjoy ourselves while becoming better for the experiences we had.

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We live in the Internet age. This device has become a terrific tool for meeting people from all over this world. It really is something which made it easy for like-minded people to get together. For this reason, we have seen the information about available lifestyles explode. What use to be a topic that only a few knew about is not something that can be located with any Google search. The “underground” moved into the mainstream online.

Part of this movement is the development of online dating sites. These sites, specifically the ones catering to adults, made is much easier to develop relationships with those same like-minded people. New online relationships are forged almost daily. On this site, I have written numerous times on the advantages to this type of relationship. However, at some point, a real M/s relationship needs to move into the real world. Relationships that never make this transition remain a fantasy. This begins to classify it as nothing more than role playing in most instances. Of course, there are situations where this does not take this form, especially when a Master is still conducting training from afar.

The question then becomes “how willing are you to move the relationship to the real world”. It is surprising how many are unwilling to take this step. This is a major red flag to where the ultimate outcome of the relationship might end up. A lack of willingness to make the relationship real indicates that the other person is perhaps playing games. This is something which needs to be fully examined.

Personally, I have met a number of slaves online. As mentioned, it is a great way to meet people with the same mindset. Whenever I am with someone new, one of the first things I find out is how willing is she to relocate to Florida. I set the stage upfront that this will ultimately be the expectation. Without an affirmative answer, I will delve deeper into what is going to transpire. Some take exception to me being so upfront. Well, the bottom line is that I am serious about this way of life. There are lots of slaves out there looking for owners (we discussed the percentages in a previous post also). Time becomes an issue. Simply, I am not willing to invest the time in someone who is not for real. This method seems to get it all out on the table.

So, ask yourself, how willing are you to be with your Master. Are you willing to move across country, or even to another country, to be with Him? Of course, I will caution you to use the proper diligence and spend the necessary time getting to know Him. However, if the time comes to move the relationship offline, are you willing to do that? If not, what are you seeking? Many take the M/s relationship seriously and failure to do so on your part will truly harm another. So, again, is this something that is real to you or not?

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