Archive for July 8th, 2008

What is the difference between a Master/slave and a Dom/sub relationship?

This is something that seems to stir debate among the BDSM community. Of course, the answer to this varies depending upon who is spoken to. Basically, the way I see it, the main difference deals with control. One is absolute while the other allows the bottom to retain a degree of control. Also, the areas affected differ between the two relationships.

To start, understand that all M/s relationships fall under the classification of D/s but all D/s are not M/s. To take it a bit further, a Master is a Dom while a slave is a sub. An analogy is that all fathers are men but not all men are fathers. Just because one chooses to be a sub does not mean that she is willing to go to the lengths that a slave does.

A M/s relationship centers around the total exchange of power. It is absolute in this manner. All control is in the hands of the Master. The slave cedes all decisions over any area of her life. It is complete. On the other hand, a sub may only give up control in a certain area such as sexually. In this scenario, her Dom has all say over that area yet other aspects of her life are still hers. Depending upon the relationship, a sub may also be able to say “no” to her Dom. There might be a limit that she can stop at. A slave forgoes this luxury with that decision residing in the hands of her Master.

Obviously, there are a lot more people who would be termed “subs” when compared to the number who are “slaves”. Neither one is better than the other. It simply is the following of internal desires that stem from one’s core. In each istuation , that person is submitting to the level that is appropriate for her.

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