Archive for July 22nd, 2008

What is the appeal to so many of BDSM? Why do those who get invovled with this choose to do so?

Sex is the most basic of instincts. It is also one of the most powerful energies that exists in the universe. Consider what people did throughout the ages for sex. Man (in the mankind sense) has gone to great lengths to satisfy this craving. It is something that drives people to act completely irrationally.

The topic of sex is something that many have tried to stiffle. As a basic act, it is necessary to engage in for the survival of the race. Procreation includes sex as part of the process. However, many try to present an image that the enjoyment of sex is bad. That it is dirty and something to be ashamed of. Many in society tried to paint the subject as something taboo.

This is part of the allure of BDSM. Many like the idea of being on the side of something considered bad, no matter how irrational society’s outlook. Yet that is just a part of it. There are also those who choose to be responsible for their own experiences. They shed the ideals of others and take control of their own lives. This includes the sexual arena.

Sex is designed to be enjoyed. In fact, it is meant to be thoroughly enjoyed. It feels so good at many different levels. In addition, people have found there are an assortment of desires such as submission which can be fulfilled sexually. BDSM offers such as array of sexual techniques that many find satisfaction in ways they never experienced. Experimentation is a common element within this arena. Many try things they never dreamed possible. It is exciting to see how one’s sexual limits can be expanded.

Freedom is a big part of the BDSM lifestyle. Even those who are in monogamous relationships are free in their mindset. It is one which throws off the societal limitations that are prevalant within most cultures. People who engage in it seek to derive all the pleasure they can from the sexual experience. Fulfilling the needs of oneself and others is a high priority. Basically, people are free to be who they are. Submissives find a wonderful and satifying outlet while Doms can safely exercise that desire within themselves. It is an opportunity that few can find anywhere else.

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The biggest mistakes men are as follows:

1. Foreplay doesn’t start in the sack.

The timer for enticing does not start once you hit the sheets. Your pre-game show is best approached as an all-day affair.

Women love to be wooed. Sex is a head game and women want to know you can’t get them out of your mind. We love knowing that we are desired.

2. Don’t head south straight away.

Diving in for the genitals too soon usually isn’t the best idea. A woman needs to be properly aroused before any below-the-belt action feels good.

Be sure to focus on her entire body, head to toe, before going for the gold.

3. Remember the clitoris.

Many men think a woman’s orgasm results from penetration.

More than 70 per cent of women experience clitoral orgasm when it comes to maximum reaction, so men need to make sure they are not ignoring the clitoris.

It also helps if you actually know where the clitoris is, some men have been known to rub the urethral opening, which can be a big no-no for some ladies.

4. Get to that G spot.

In digging for buried treasure, many guys don’t know that ‘X’ doesn’t always mark the spot. Found on the front wall of the vagina, a woman’s G spot may be a little higher or lower, or more to one side than the other, than often depicted.

5. Don’t be too goal-oriented.

There is nothing more endearing than a man who wants to play. Just don’t get caught up in yourself. Your sexual exploration should be playtime for two.

Stay ‘present’ in the moment, connecting with your partner will bring the ultimate climax for both of you.

6. Thinking you’re still hot after gaining weight.

‘For better or worse’ should include weight fluctuations, but don’t let yourself go completely.

7. Let her be naughty.

Sometimes she needs to get in touch with her adulterated side. In fact, research has found that women are more aroused by explicit fantasies than romantic ones. It’s not always about the prince on a white horse or canoodling on the beach.

8. She’s not a porn star.

As seen in porn films, many men expect their lovers to fulfill their every fantasy. Remember that porn is fantasy, not reality. Expecting her to act like a porn star is simply not fair.

9. And men aren’t supposed to look like porn stars.

Despite what XXX-rated films indicate, most women are not lusting after a three-legged man. Maybe some women are up for the challenge, but many are fine with the guy who fits within the norm. Don’t be too hard on yourself for being just that.

10. One orgasm is not always enough.

Women are not as quick to come down from their aroused state as men are post-sex. Many can be launched right back to bliss, and many women do crave more action and orgasms, even if they were perfectly satisfied the first time round.

You will also enjoy 10 Mistakes Men Make In Bed, 10 Tips For Attending A Sex Party, Top 10 Female Fantasies, and Top 10 Lesbian Fantasies.

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