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Archive for July 26th, 2008

Society wants to label the behavior that we engage in as kinky or, worse, deviant. This is its’ way of putting those of us involved in it on a lower level. There is a perception that there is an appropriate way to behave sexually. Anything which strays from the norm is looked down upon. Thus, so are the people who are involved in that behavior.

The medical community seems to want to enhance this belief by focusing upon different fetishes which exist. They conclude that there is something wrong with us because we like things that are a bit more extreme than normal. Again, anything apart from the accepted ideals makes up oddballs.

Ironically, what we are involved in is the norm. The vanilla mindset of missionary position every other Thursday is far from reality. Most people like things spiced up a little more. Spankings, toys, and dirty talk are enjoyed by more couples then do not enjoy them. The only difference is some of us are more open about our likes than others.

Sex is one of the most pleasurable experiences known to mankind. It is something which should be enjoyed to the fullest. That said, who is capable of being the moral authority on the matter? There are many who want to sit on that throne; religious zealots, phsychologists, doctors, ministers, etc… It is important to remember that it is your life. Live it how you see fit.

For Me, I love this lifestyle. It offered something which I failed to find elsewhere. For this individual, the traditional lifestyle simply did not work. Does that make Me kinky because I choose a different method of living than what is perceived to be “normal”? Not in the manner which they are using the term. I am following a path which feels right within Me. That is the difference. I am choosing how I live. The ones judging are subscribing to a mindset that was given to them.

People who are into BDSM come from all walks of life. If people would only cease judging the lifestyle for a short period of time, they would realize that all that is offered here is the opportunity to design their lives (at least sexually) in a manner which is acceptable to them. Sexual freedom entails more than orgies, gangbangs, and bondage scenes. It is a state of mind that tells Me I can choose how I want to live. And, that does not make Me any less than anyone else.

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What are you in the mood for? This is one of the primary benefits of a sexually free lifestyle. You can do whatever you desire so long as it is legal. Many of us in the BDSM way of life know the benefits of fulfilling our sexual whims. Literally, what is a fantasy for others is a regular part of our life.

Being a Dom allows me to exert control and influence in a manner that I desire. Of course, the mutual payoff exists. It is exciting to see the pleasure one (or more) receives from pleasuring Me. A submissive craves being used in a manner which satisfies her Dom. Using one in this capacity stimulates the dominant streak to the max.

So, we get to decide what our pleasure is. Group sex is a consistent part of my reality. I do the things that other in my office only dream of. Is it Me? No, it is the result of choosing a lifestyle which partners Me with people who are equally as driven. Sexual freedom is something that few can imagine. When you do meet up with those who think the same way, the world is at your doorstep. All the societal morays are removed. Pleasure is what we seek.

BDSM is more than just whips and leather. It is a total way of life. Sexually, we are some of the most diverse people. We like everything from straight one-on-one to orgies to bondage to extreme. There is nothing that is left unimagined. If you can think of it, we probably tried it. Join this way of life to open yourself up to all that it has to offer.

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Here is a list of ten sex myths-two which are true. So, really it is a Top 8 list but that didnt fit into our Top 10 theme. Here they are:

1. A good lover will know how to please everyone: Everyone is different; there is not a “one way fits all”.

2. Happy couples have great sex all of the time: Get real! Nobody can do anything all of the time. Long term relationships have many ups/downs and that includes sexually.

3. Women always cum when getting screwed: Studies show only about a third of all women cum vaginally during sex.

4. Affairs show a lack of love: There are many reasons for cheating-lack of love usually is not one of them.

5. Men are always ready for sex: Ask him after working 6 straight 18 hour days.

6. Women do not like “dirty” sex: If you believe this you havent been with the right woman. Plenty of women love to get kinky. Society tries to repress this but it is there.

7. Black men are hung better than white: TRUE: No explanation needed (the average is by an 1″-1.5″)

8. Women dont like sex as much as men (or want it as much): Again, societal influences repressing desires that are there.

9. Men are more likely to sleep around than women: True: perhaps biological or societal or a combination.

10. Happy couples are spontaneous with their sex lives: It takes work and planning to remain happy with another for a long period of time. Often, it is necessary to set some time aside for sexual interaction.

And keeping in line with the theme of this site:

10.5 Traditional sex is lessexciting then BDSM sex: TRUE TRUE TRUE

You will also enjoy 10 Mistakes Men Make In Bed, 10 Tips For Attending A Sex Party, Top 10 Female Fantasies, and Top 10 Lesbian Fantasies.

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