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Archive for September, 2008

Slut-o-meter

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A light hearted look at some little known sex terms

Angry Dragon – Immediately after you blow your load in a girl’s mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she’ll look like an angry dragon.

Auntie – An aging male homosexual.

Animal play – When one or both partners pretend to be an animal (Ex – dog, horse) in a role play.

Auto -Eroticism – Masturbation

Auto -Felatio – Performing fellatio (oral sex) on one`s own penis

Arabian Goggles – A “seldom-seen” maneuver when you put your testicles over her eye sockets while getting head. (Picture it: ass on forehead) It may be anatomically impossible, but what the fuck else is new

Aeroplane Blonde – One who has bleached / dyed her hair but still has a ‘black box.

Aussie Kiss – similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
Auxiliary Intercoure – Sexual climax achieved by moving the erect penis back

and forth in the armpit

B
Back Door – A euphemism for the anus.

Badly Packed Kebab – A vulgar (but still excellent) term for the female genitalia

Ballsacking – Takes some luck of the gene pool, but if you’re able to do it, always great fun. While you are straddling her, take your nutsack and spread it out over her face like pizza dough.

Balloon Knot – When you bend over and I can see up right up the wazoo.
That’s a balloon knot that you see.

Bag it – wearing a condom during intercourse.

Back Yard – The buttocks.

Back Scuttle – Perform anal intercourse.

Bait N’ Tackle – The sailors used this one in the old Navy days. Before you go off for a long, lonely voyage, get yourself a tall jar and fill it completely with earthworms. When you get lonely, open the jar and fuck away. The earthworms will provide some slithery stimulation, and your protein load will keep them nicely fed. Gone fishing!

Beaver Leaver – A homosexual (male)

Bimbot – A pornslut who is as cold and unfeeling during sex as her plastic boobs, lips, cheeks, etc..

Beer Dick – This is what most guys get after a good night of drinking. They tend to fuck anything with a pussy while experiencing beer dick

Blue Balls – Severe need to experience sexual orgasm.

Brownie Queen – Passive partner in anal intercourse.

Bear Claw – A synonym for extremely large pussy lips.

Bronco, The – You start by going doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab her tits as tight as possible and yell another girls name. This gives you the feeling of riding a wild bronco as she desperately tries to buck you off.

Brown Bagging It – Sometimes you meet a girl with a body like there’s no tomorrow but a face like a mangy dog. Don’t let that body go to waste and let her hideousness stop you from fucking her though. Just draw the smiley face on a brown paper bag, place it over her head, and fuck away while keeping your composure and piece of mind.

Butter Face – When you see a chick with an awesome body, “but her face”, is nasty.

Bukkake – Showering a person with sperm from one or many men. In ancient Japan, there is a legend that unfaithful women were publicly humiliated in the town center by being tied up while every man in town ejaculated all over her to show their distaste.

this is an excert from  http://www.dirtyslang.com/dictionary.htm

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a …your idea of getting a jump in the morning is to hook up the other end of your nipple clamp to the car battery.

…you nearly cause an accident pulling into the lot where the sign advertises FREE TODAY HOT WAX before you realize it’s a car wash.

…you cannot get through the opening lines of “Green Eggs and Ham” (I Am Sam, Sam I Am) without giggling hysterically.

…your attitude is “electricity, not just a utility, but a way of life”.

…you’ve served more people than McDonald’s.

…more people have seen your body on-line than have visited cnn

…you spend more time on your knees than a Catholic priest.

…you consider filing a lawsuit for false advertising when the pizza place has a sign for
HOT GREEK-STYLE SUBS but they wouldn’t bend over to please you.

…you chose your last car based on the location of the garment hooks.

…the hospital lists you as a triage center, since you’re better equipped than the ER.

…you sit on Santa’s lap to tell him the toys you want for XMas, and get a free trip on
the North Pole.

…you keep fake hanging plants around the house, just so your mother will never know what all those hooks in the ceiling are really for

…someone refers to a serial killer as sadistic and you roll your eyes, because the man has nothing on you.

…you realized you’ve charged more in lingerie than you get paid in a year

…you have more toys than your kids

…you take up macrame, just to learn some new knots

…your favorite dessert is hot crossed buns…and you don’t eat sweets

…someone says they have a leatherman, you almost say “me too!” before you realize they are talking about the tool gadget on their belt.

…you watch a movie where someone gets tied up and scream at the screen, “Gimme a break, 3 minutes max to get out of that!”

…you go to the local county fair and salivate when the horsejumps are set up.

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