Archive for January, 2009

The collar in BDSM means so many things, it can be a sign of ownership * although I must point out that not every Master or Dom will collar their property, some do not believe in this ceremony*, it can be a leash for those who like to lead their property around, it can be the signal that a scene is going to unfold, especially if it is in a public munch setting and it can be used as a ‘holding’ point for chains,ropes or leashes.

There are so many different types of collars on the market I am not even going to try to list them all, they range from steel ones which cannot be removed to dog collars, but they all in essence do the same job, they all provide the use they are intended for.

Whether you believe in collaring your property or not, in my opinion it is one of those ‘must haves’ for the toy box, it has so many uses. Points to remember though, do not have the collar too tight, most slaves and subs do not look good with blue faces, some are allergic to certain materials, make sure the sub/slave is not allergic to the collar and if you pull on it, try not to jerk it too hard, whiplash can occur if you are too rough and suddenly jerk hard on the collar, Enjoy


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One aspect of BDSM is the clothing, how humiliation it can be for a sub/slave to be dressed as a whore and made to go out in public dressed like that, or to make a male sub/slave dress as a woman and go and do the shopping etc, this is one way that clothing is effective in BDSM, another way is fetish wear.

To some the wearing of rubber, latex,corsets,no underwear, harnesses etc are as much a part of their style of BDSM as anal sex or spankings are to others, the diversity and wide range of differences are very noticable in BDSM yet they all seem to mix well together.

No matter what your preference is, enjoy your life, make it work for you all and you will find it is something many dream of but few achieve


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This is one aspect of BDSM that I enjoy, I am a poly Master and I own a couple of slaves, each of them have a different role to play in my life, and I treat them differently, remember my previous post about one size not fitting all, well this is an example of this thinking. Now my slaves in theory ‘share’ me, that is something they have no say in, it is my decision who I talk to, who I interact with, who indeed I sleep with, that is my choice and they respect that, it is also my desicion who they engage in sex with, whether it is male or female.

I hear many new ones saying,” Oh no i couldn’t do that ” what they fail to realise is it is not their choice, and whilst I will listen to their views and worries, ultimatly it is my decision and unless there is something that will truely harm them then I will do as I wish with them, forgive me if I sound arrogant, but the Dom or Master is the dominating force in this relationship and as such should not be dictated to by those he owns.

Most subs and slaves fear this act of sharing as they are not used to it, it is a fear and not a hardcore limit, and as a Master it is my job to push their limits,break their fears, and this is one way that I can do this, however I will say that I am always present when my slaves are being used by others, whether I am engaged in the sex or not, this way I can watch them closely, no one will know your property as you do and this is a safety measure for all involved,

BDSM is fun, the freedom of the sexual experiences is second to none, enjoy all it can bring you


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What is the one major thing that comes to mind when you start to either ‘scene’ or engage in sex with someone ? Pleasure,release,that feel good factor ? Well yes all of these and more, and in the BDSM or M/s D/s encounters the pleasure of the Dominant is what is the sub or slaves main priority, and there is no sex act that allows this as much as oral sex. During oral sex, while the person giving it might get turned on it is very rare they will encounter an orgasm, however the one recieving it more often than not will unless they stop it before that point is reached, and this one act is a final submission, a final giving of control to the Master or Dom.

In a vanilla relationship, sex is about pleasure for both, in a BDSM the sub or slave has release only at the Master or Doms wish, they have no right to an orgasm, they have no say in whether they can cum, they are there for the pleasure of another and this is something that people cannot understand but it is something that those within this life live for, especially the subs and slaves, they wish for their owners to be happy and their pleasure comes second in that desire.

Oral sex is something that is almost all about the Master or Doms pleasure, it is an act that some subs or slaves hate and others adore, and if ass to mouth is added as well, this in itself is a humiliation for the sub slave * yes I know that some like this, I am talk about those whom I own in this instance * but no matter their feelings it is something they will do as it is their Masters wish, to some it ranks up there with anal sex, in the vanilla life it is something the ‘good girls’ do not do. There are many reason I live my life as I do, and the more you think about it the more reasons there are, sexual freedom is just one of them and to have someone whose main wish is my happiness is another.


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We all know that women, no matter what life they live, vanilla or submissive, love their toys, however many in this life also love their toys, the difference is, our toys are more fun ! In this life the only limit to the pleasure recieved by both the Master and slave is their imagination. The use of toys enhances many aspects of this way of life, from a paddle or a flogger, to anal beads, hancuffs, tit vacuums, the list is endless, even for those financially well off there are special swings, fucking machines, predesigned frames, as I said the list is endless.

As with all things when you start your journey, take special notice of your sub or slave, some of the things used in bdsm are intense and not for use by novices or those who have no idea what they are doing, safety is of utmost importance, watch your subs face, read her body language and make use of the safe word if needed, some equipment used in BDSM is extreme and not for everyone


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One thing I have noticed while living the BDSM life is the preferences of all Masters and Doms are vast and varied, this can range from how they contol their property, and I have written many articles on this, to their sexual preferences, whether they like the more hard core aspect of BDSM or the softer side, spanking or no spanking, as I have said many times, this is not a one size fits all lifestyle and this is evident the more you meet other people and se how they go about their lives within the BDSM realm.

One thing I have noticed, and lets face it, I am a man and therefore would notice this, is how people differ in how they like their subs or slaves to be kept with regard to their pussies. Some like smooth and shaved, waxed or even electrolosis have been known to be used, others like neatly trimmed and then others still like the hairy natural look * this is my preference*. This to me is yet one more way that BDSM allows us to live our lives and explore our sexual prefrences with out having to wonder what people will say.

No matter how you like your pussy, as long as you are both happy, then all I can say is enjoy and have fun, after all that is one of the reasons we live our lives this way.


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When you see pictures on the internet of BDSM activities, what do you see ? Well I have found that most of the ‘models’ used, and yes at least 80% of them are models, are all young, beautiful,slender, you know, the ‘fantasy girl’ most men think about, but is this real ? Are all subs/slaves like this ? Well I hate to burst your bubble, but the answer is NO, they are not. Subs or slaves are normal people, they have flaws just as we do, the come in all sizes with a whole manner of likes and dislikes and they are REAL, that is the difference, after the photos or videos are finished most of these people in the shoot go home and put their feet up, have a meal waiting for them and chill out for the evening, this is not the BDSM way, there are no lights, camera, action shouts, this is real life and as such it involves real people, people such as the following…..Remember the pictures look hot, the ladies look hot and the men all look fit, but they are not real, this is something many need to remember when starting on the journey into this life, the wish of both the Master and His property is to find a relationship that lasts the test of time, and time is something no one can avoid, we all get older, we all change and it is the test of the BDSM life when we change with this. Just as a Dom or Master will age, so will the sub or slave, and unfortunatly I have yet to meet a 19yr old who loves this lifestyle and wants to be with a 90 yr old Dom,


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