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Archive for September, 2009

As readers of this blog know I love to experiment and play around with different aspects of BDSM, indeed with out experimentation and ‘trial and error’ how is one to know what is enjoyable to them and their subs/slaves ?

One of the things that has come as no surprise to me is the pleasure that my slave gets from waxing – this was something she was uncertain of previously as she had had a bad experience at the hands of an untrained Master and so it was something that while she knew I enjoyed doing she was understandably reluctant to actually have it done to her. It took time slowly build up the trust needed but when that trust was there 100% and she allowed herself to move past the memories she has now found it is something that awards us both a great deal of pleasure. I am a great believer in safety and being aware of the mindset of your sub or slave – use your eyes and your knowledge of those you own to keep them safe.

I have put together a few basic points to try to ensure the fun is had by all

Candle wax for BDSM play should not cause burns. There can be a reddening of the skin but this should clear up in a few hours at the most.

⃙ Avoid beeswax candles as Beeswax burns at a much higher temperature than plain paraffin candles and can cause burns.
⃙Avoid beef tallow candles. Wax made from animal fat can be extremely hot and cause burning.
⃙ Avoid candles with metallic colours, these often contain poisonous metallic salts.
⃙ Avoid scented candles. Scented candles burn at a higher temperature because of their perfume content and may cause scalding.
⃙ Avoid candles with metal wicks, metal wick can drip hot molten metal on the sub/slave
Have a bucket of water or fire extinguisher close by, a candle can be knocked over very easily especially if the sub/slave is ‘writhing’ around, a tied sub/slave and a bed on fire is not a good combination.

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There are many ways that a Master/Dom can use Humiliation in his BDSM playtimes – he can dictate what a slave/sub is to wear in public, a slutty outfit that flashes her tits and pussy, or he could make her walk around naked amongst his friends when he is entertaining, open to all their comments and touches. This is just a couple of ways but I personnally like to ‘write’ on my slaves, a marker pen telling them that they are mine, it need not be visable to anyone else but the thought of her wearing my ‘brand’ while she is in a board meeting or even doing the shopping is something we both love.

The words that you write on your slave/sub can be anything, but I have found that the best ones are the ones that actually mean something to you – for example if your slave likes anal sex then writing ‘ Fuck this ‘ on her ass is a turn on for both of you, especially if she is wearing a short skirt and when she bends over it can be visable, the same as with ‘ Spank me ‘ written on her ass or ‘Cum Slut’ across her pussy.

Experiment with writting on your slave/sub, I am sure you will find it is a great way to humiliate her yet at the same time prove to be a turn on for you both * might be wise not to write on her face unless you are certain that soap and water will remove it properly, it could result in a few days off work otherwise until the writting fades *

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When people mention BDSM, all sorts of things run through their heads, ropes, whips, pain,tears to name but a few, but very rarely unless you are into this way of life are your first thoughts pleasure, orgasms, bondage,play time, etc etc so why is this ?

I think its because the internet for all its usefulness also portrays it as a way of life that can be cruel and harsh, the pictures found when you search the sites range from vanilla to extreme and unless you are fmiliar with the lifestyle and most of its components * I say most as I really feel that no one person is familiar with ALL the different things BDSM means to others * it can be very intimidating.

One of the first things people like to experiment with is bondage, and this is something that can be built on over time, starting out with a simple hand tying then building to ankles and finally full body and suspension, as with all things it is recommended that you do not jump the stages, a novice is not really qualified to do full body suspension bondage as it can have disasterous results !! Take your time, enjoy each stage and learn from it while having fun, its a great way to also build up the trust in a relationship as well.

My advice to all who are interested in this varid and extremely fulfilling way of life is to experiment and see what works for you and your partner, there is no right or wrong and no one way to live this life, the only limitations are the ones you both place upon it – but most of all HAVE FUN !!

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