One part of BDSM is femdom, it is the M/s or D/s relationship where the dominant person is female, and the sub or slave can be either male or female, that is basically the only difference.

The use of strap- ons in a M/s femdom relationship is common place and is something that add to a scene or play time regardless if the sub/slave is male or female.

There are many ways to live in a BDSM or M/s D/s relationship and femdom is one of the growing sides of this lifestyle, it does not make a person weak to submit to a woman, and it does not make them effeminant, it makes them stronger as they are following their desires and needs.


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When a Master and slave/ Dom and sub play, be it in a scene or in private, there are many ways they can enhance the pleasure felt by both, spanking, bondage, wax play, these are to name just a few, they can take things as far as they are both comfortable with, ultimately it is the Masters/Doms choice in the type of play but they will be ever mindful of their sub/slave as this is not about abuse but pleasure.
One way to add to a play or scene is to add a bit of ‘ torture’ to the pussy, and this can be as soft or extreme as you are both comfortable with, I am not suggesting that you abuse your property and the term Torture is misleading but it is simply the adding of clamps, clips, pegs or even a bit of rope to an already aching pussy desperate to orgasm, Imagine the intensity of adding a pet to an already throbbing clit, the pleasure/pain the slave feels is intense * or so mine tell me *

Swollen pussy lips are just ripe for adding clamps to, a chain attached to the clamps can make things more sensual, a slight tug on the chain will soon have them begging for an orgasm, clamp the lips and the clit, then flick the clamps lightly, again, the arching her body will let you know she is loving it.

During a play session or a scene the pussy is one of the most sensitive parts of her body, there is so much more that can be done to it apart from just filling it, play with it, experiment, and enjoy the results



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When I am playing with my slaves, I like nothing more than to tie them and add some stimulant to their tits or pussies. When adding things to their tits this could be clamps, pegs, extra rope around them thus binding them, tape, coat hangers * the trouser ones from the dry cleaners* In fact the only limit to what can be used is your imagination, and as my slaves like to moan, I have a very weird imagination !

Clothes pegs are obviously the cheapest option to use, and widely available, no need to go to a specialist shop, the same can be said for office clips, they can be brought in many stores and outlets. If you are going to go for clamps, then start with the cheaper decorative ones until the slave is used to the bite of them, most of the ones available can be tightened as required and are a good way to experiment with nipple play and pain thresholds.

If you look at the ‘toy’ market you will see there are lots of different types of clamps, vibrating ones, wired ones, ones that tighten as they are pulled, ones that make a noise or give a shock, but in the beginning I would suggest that you just keep things simple, there is really no need to spend your wage packet on something until you are both certain it is something you enjoy.

The most important thing with tit play is to enjoy it, have fun and stay safe.


BDSM – Bondage

One part of BDSM that I personally find exciting is BONDAGE. This could be the simple tying or a sub or slaves hands together, either with a rope, scarf, handcuffs, even cling film *saran wrap * can be used as a means of restricting their movements, and that is what bondage is, the restricting of another persons movements and ability to touch or prevent another touching them.

The method and extent of how you bind your sub or slave is something that is individual to each relationship, some prefer light bondage, thus giving the sub or slave some movement, others prefer extreme bondage, giving the sub or slave no movement at all. Some prefer ropes, others prefer belts and straps, scarf’s can be used as can neck ties and stockings or tights, the limit to what you can use is only hindered by your imagination.

I feel at this stage I should mention a few things ……….

  1. 1 Leaving a sub or slave tied in one position for a long period of time is not good for her circulation, always make sure what ever you use is not too tight that is does restrict circulation and that you can remove the bonds quickly in an emergency
  2. 2 Take all the pictures that you see on the internet with a pinch of salt, the majority of these are staged and not actually real to life,
  3. 3 While we would all love to have a co jointed sub or slave, they are very rare, remember not everyone can get their feet behind their ears, and trying to tie your sub in this position could hurt them

Experiment with different things, different ways to bind your sub or slave, use different things to achieve the results, but most of all have fun and enjoy yourself


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BDSM – Femdom

When we look at BDSM and some of the things it can stand for, we mention wax play, spankings, bondage, oral sex and sex in general to name just a few parts of it. As I am a Master I tend to look at things from a Masters point of view and while most of what I say is relevant for both Masters and Mistresses there are obviously one basic differences, one is Male and one is Female, that said as far as the BDSM world is that is the only real difference.

When we talk of bondage, this is something that can be applied to both male and female subs and slaves, the same as nipple clamps can be used on both, and tying tits on a female slave may be something you find exciting, for a Mistress tying and binding a cock or balls can have the same desired effect.
The same is true for wax play, it is something that has no gender, it is a universal play that can be enjoyed by all involved regardless of the gender or dynamic of the relationship. In fact when looked at properly there are very few things enjoyed in the BDSM lifestyle that is gender specific,

With that said there seems to be just one thing that ALL in BDSM agree on, this is a lifestyle and it is something that is not a one size fits all life, it is something that each tailor to suit their needs and desires, that is why it is a growing lifestyle, its main aim is to enjoy and have fun with it


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BDSM – Wax is Fun

Floating candle
Image via Wikipedia

I have posted about wax play before but have decided to add more to it, as it is one of the most erotic forms of sensual play I have known.

The basics of wax play are relatively simple, a candle ( I have found the cheap white ones best for a number of reasons, mainly as they burn cooler and are unperfumed so less chance of an allergic reaction to them ) and a body, simple really. There are a few tips I can give you, making sure the part of the body you are going to play with is relatively hair free makes the cleaning up easier, if that is not possible, a little petroleum jelly helps when applied before hand. You can add to the play by running an ice cube over the skin either before or after the wax, this gives both a hot and cold sensation to the slave and heightens the sensitivity of the skin.

The main thing with wax play is safety and enjoyment, be aware of what you are doing at all times, listen to your sub or slave and make sure she is happy with what is happening and finally enjoy


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As I have said so many times, there are many things that add together to make up the BDSM lifestyle and what it means to you as a person, that also goes for those who engage in it a step further, in the D/s and M/s relationships.

There are many types of these relationships, myself personally I am a poly Master, that is I own a couple of slaves, their service to me is I wish it to be, it might be as a house slave or as a sex slave or it might be a mix of the two, the point is, it is what I want and they know I am poly when submitting to me.
I have the options open to me to share my slaves if I wish to, be it with others in this life or having them play together to please me, although it does help if the slaves are bi sexual and get on with each other if I want them to play together but again that is something I decide upon in the end.

When a poly Master lets others play with those He owns it is not the slaves choice, however most Masters will lay down a few guide lines before the scene and be present through out to ensure that the slave is ok and not in distress, again whether he actually joins in is up to him, many times I prefer to watch at first so I can be alert to what is happening especially if she is new or these are people I know but have never had join us before I then have my slave please me afterwards and I have found that they are usually more than happy as this then brings them back to familiar ground and helps them to realise I am pleased with them and what has happened during the scene


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