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So you are intertested in BDSM. How do you go about it? What is the best way to approach this way of life? Well, obviously, if your read some of my other posts, you now know there are many facets to BDSM. It is a broad spectrum wich almost anyone can fit into.

It seems the most common way people enter into it is sexually. This is the easiest way for a couple to begin their journey. In fact, I would say most couples restrict their BDSM/control activities to the bedroom. Few actually move into other phases of life.

As with anything, it is best to read up on different techniques and methods for implementing this into your sex life. Start with those areas which interest both your partner and yourself. Try to start on the “light” side of things. Discuss what it is each of you likes/dislikes. It is best to determine the level of submission and domination that each person has. Are the two of you equally split or perhaps one of you is a switch. Either way, it is helpful to know what the other desires.

Begin with some light activites such as spanking and/or light bondage. This is a wonderful way to experiment with BDSM. See how the other likes what is occurring. If there are no objections, move to something a little harder, such as spanking using an implement or tieing that person compelely to the bed. Experiment with your words play to see how degradation, humiliation, and belittling feel. Some will really enjoy this aspect of the interaction, others will not. This is a time where each is learning some of the limits.

Over time, you will find that you can expand your scope. There are many fetishes which really excite some members of our community. They are open for exploration if so desired. Other alternative lifestyles such as swinging and group activites also can be added they are of interest. Determine what sexual activites you like and discuss these with your partner. This is a simple way to expand your sexual horizons.

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Most people who end up as slave/subs find that it all starts with their sexual submissiveness. Are you sexually submissive? If this is the case, you may be cut out for entering into this lifestyle. For whatever reason, the sexual arena is the beginning point for uncovering total submissiveness.

Some like to be totally dominated during sex. They like to cede all control to their partner. This includes being told what to do, being called names, and servicing the other person fully. The degree of any of these activites varies with each person. However, the overall tendency is to submit to the other.

Rape fantasies are the best example of one who wants to be taken. Naturally, not all go to this extreme. A milder form of the same idea is one who fantasizes about being taken without warning by someone she consents to. She wants to be used for the other persons pleasure. Notice how the act of being taken is submissive by the fact that the other person is the one who determines when and where. This fantasy can include violence or not depending on the individual’s desire.

So what do these fantasies tell us? They let one know that she desires ceding control, at least in the area of sex. She wants to be taken and thoroughly used by another for his pleasure. This is where her pleasure is derived. Subs who live this lifestyle usually give their entire sexually being to her Dom. This is where He owns her. Of course, many transfer this to other areas of life. The Dom might be in control of what she does with her time. He might reign over how and when she handles the household activities. The possibilities are endless.

So, if you find that you regularly have the feeling of wanting to be taken sexually, you might want to explore your submissiveness. Many have found the only reason they never acted upon it is that they were not with people who were dominant enough. Consider your feelings when you consider being totally defenseless against another; that he can have you any way he wants. Is this something that sounds wonderful to you? This might uncover a totally different life for you.

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