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Posts Tagged ‘dominance’

Much in this way of life is said about a sub or slave serving her Dom/Master, that it is His pleasure that matters, no matter what the task is it is His satisfaction that is important be it fetching Him a drink or during a scene, what He wishes is what is important and there is no geater time that this is evident than in oral sex.

Very few subs or slaves can honestly say they can orgasm from giving their Dom or Master oral sex yet they do this if it is asked of them, so why when they receive no pleasure themselves do they want to do it ? Simply put it is because it pleases their Dom or Master.

Submitting to another means you will do as they wish within the boundries of your relationship and this is more evident when it involves sex, as this is where even those who are not in a 24/7 relationship tend to submit, and the pleasure of the Owner is always the focus.

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BDSM is a wonderful lifestyle. Yet, it is just that, a lifestyle. For most of us, it is not life. We are still confronted with the same issues that everyone else is.

I wrote about this very subject in my book, An Owned Life. Too many people believe that BDSM is a way for them to escape their problems. Sadly, many get involved only to find out this is not the truth. One’s problems will follow regardless of what style of life is chosen.

Many suffer from poor interpersonal skills. This is something that can be overcome by working on one’s interactions with others. However, whether one is in a traditional relationship or a BDSM one, the result will still be the same. Someone who suffers from poor interpersonal skills will have difficulty with relationships.

Those who are involved with BDSM chose this way of life for what it adds to their life. Life still happens on a daily basis. We have our share of relationship issues. There are also financial situations which are not enviable. Sickness and death are still part of the program. Anything that the average person experiences, so do we.

The final point that I want to make is that esteem issues are not solved simply by adopting a BDSM way of life. Many new people tend to believe that being owned by another will settle this issue. Nothing can be further from the truth. At the same time, many seem that dominating another will make them “a man”. This is equally untrue. It takes a healthy esteem to be able to properly dominate or submit to another. Those who lack it will find their inferiority instilled upon the relationship. This is something that can be overcome if those involved are willing to work on it. However, BDSM will not make up for the lack of esteem.

Do not look to BDSM as the answer to all your problems. Many of us found it to be the thing that was missing in our lives. Nevertheless, this is a choice of how we decided we want to live. It does not absolve us of the other responsibilities of life.

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“It is possible to establish a series of activities that all serve to humiliate a sub. As we have shown, everything in this genre is done with the intention of showing the inequality of the relationship while often going against the commonly acceptable ideals of society. A Dom can implement rituals or behaviors into the daily activity of a sub to further impress these points.

The method which a Dom and sub walk in public can be altered to fit this end. In most relationships, people walk side-by-side when going down the street or through a store. This can be amended so that your sub walks behind you. This is more like the Eastern tradition where servants walked behind their rulers. Again, it shows the inequality of the relationship.

I like to have a sub serve my every whim. In addition to preparing the meals, a sub can be instructed to refill your drink, get your shoes, or change the television channel. Being dictated
at is not something that our culture promotes. We are taught self reliance and to take care of ourselves. Having a sub do the most menial of tasks which are easily handled can be humiliating. I found the more absurd the activity, the more the impact was.

You can also take this to another level by having him or her worship certain body parts. It is not uncommon to have a sub kiss your feet in an effort to show his/her appreciation and obedience. The licking of the anus is another activity which shows a sub’s position. Many times, the sub will take a subservient posture when receiving the order and following through. Anytime one is physically lower than another, the concept is enhanced.”

Copied from Erotic Humiliation, pg. 45

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Bent forward strappado
Image via Wikipedia

There are many parts of this life I enjoy, some more than others, and one of those is bondage. To bind a sub or slave in a way that leaves her helpless to resist anything you desire is a wonderful feeling for both, and it is something that even those in a traditional’ vanilla’ lifestyle are finding more and more exciting, although I would hazard a guess and say they do not go to the extremes that those of us in this life tend to at times.

There is the ‘soft’ binding, used for adding a certain something to a scene or play and then there is the extreme, and indeed anywhere in between.
I would advise to take care when going to some of the extremes, it is not something everyone can deal with and in my experience, the more elaborate the bonds the harder it is to remove them in a hurry if needs dictate.

Another thing to remember is the position you tie your sub or slave in is basically how they will stay until you untie them and reposition them, too elaborate and the mood for playing can quickly diminish, just something to remember, sometimes simple is the best way to go.

No matter what stage of BDSM and bondage you find yourself practicing, the key is to enjoy and have fun, remember that to start of simple is not something to be ashamed of, I to this day still cannot tie a slip knot or a reef knot but still my slaves and I have many hours of fun.

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I have during the course of my writing mentioned the extreme side of BDSM, and have shown you pictures of cbt * cock and ball torture*, this is something those into extreme femdom are likely to use. On the other side of the scale is extreme pussy torture, and this is something that a minority of those who practice BDSM like, however I must point out it is not one of the more common aspects of BDSM, and the sub or slave really needs to be what we term a pain slut, as some of the things are really extreme.

In extreme pussy torture it is not uncommon to pierce the clit or labia, and padlocks and chains are used to decorate it, in some cases corset piercing is also used, it must be said though that this is not a wide spread practice and the utmost care was taken to ensure that the sub/slave was not hurt during this process * hurt being the wrong word, but I am sure you know what I am saying *

I know very few people who will actually practice this but for those who do they find it very erotic, and looking at the pictures I can understand why If this is something you like then the BDSM lifestyle is the only place I know of where you can fulfil your fantasies, and have fun doing so.

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We have looked at so many different parts of BDSM, groups, anal,femdom,spanking,bondage, the list is endless, but we have only briefly mentioned public BDSM.

This is another part of BDSM that can be said to be a the more extreme side of it, to take a sub out in public and give them to a stranger to use, its not something everyone can do and to be honest in todays society it is something that needs to be done with extreme care and consideration. That said there is something very erotic about leading your slave around the street with a collar and leash and with her ass hanging out.

There is not much mentioned on the internet about this practice, whether it is because it is a fetish not many partake in or whether its because its not that common I don’t know, but I do know it is something I personally find very erotic and such a turn on. a point to remember is that in most states this is illegal and you risk being thrown in jail if you are caught, telling them its ok as she is your slave is not a good idea either.

If this is something that you are interested in taking into your relationship then I would like to stress to take caution and be aware of what is happening around you, it might be something that you can look like tremendous fun but if you are not careful things can turn bad very quickly and it is your job as he Dom or Master to protect your property

This is also something that is used in Erotic Humiliation, click HERE to get your copy of my latest book, this is proving to be a subject many are interested in and its selling fast.

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Reading back through this blog, I have noticed that I have been tending to look at things from a male point of view, ok as I am a man this is something to be expected, well today I thought about looking at things from a females view, don’t be worried, I am talking about FEMDOM.

Just as a Dom or Master finds fulfilment in their life when they live it as a Dom or Master, then so does a Domme or Mistress, they are basically looking and finding the same things the men are, they are allowing the dominant streak within them free and at the same time they are satisfying desires within their subs or slaves.

It can be said that as women have an inbred nurturing instinct they are more aware of what a sub or slave needs, I am not sure if this is right as just as there are some strict Doms and Masters having met a few in my time as a Master I know there are some strict Dommes and Mistresses, in fact they seem to have a corner of the market in inventiveness where punishments and play is concerned at times !!

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