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Posts Tagged ‘emotional control’

The key part of the M/s relationship is that it is a relationship. That being said, for one to be successful, many of the same qualities that make other types of relationships work is present. One of the vital components is maturity. Some people simply are not mature enough to handle the responsibility that goes a long with a relationship.

We have all seen those people who we know do not belong in a relationship. He or she simply is not mature enough to handle it. Watching these types of people reminds us of watching children. The interaction in many ways is similar. They are so fearful that they need to try to get what they want. The concept of give and take is not there.

How does this pertain to the M/s lifestyle? Similarly, it takes a certain amount of maturity to be able to maintain a successful M/s relationship. A person needs to first have worked on himself or herself before venturing into this lifestlyle. If not, that person will typically flee at the first sign of conflict. Or they will become defiant and hostile (remember the child). This is how the immature handle conflict and interpersonal interaction. It is the immature way of doing things.

For a M/s relationship to be successful, each party needs to be able to handle the responsibility that their “role” offers. Masters needs to have the maturity to lead and guide the relationship. Do You have a vision for what it will look like? Part of maturity is being able to look ahead. On the slave side, have you invested the necessary effort to developing your esteem and worth? If not, can you take some criticism without processing that to mean you are worthless? Often, I see people try to interact with others while not being able to do this.

So how does O/one become more mature? The only answer I can give is to “grow up” and stop acting like a child. Everything is not going to go our way. This is a reality of life. Even Master will be disappointed by slaves periodically. Nobody is perfect which leads to mistakes. A mistake is not the end of the world. It is something that can be overcome. Nevertheless, if Y/you find that the O/one you are dealing with cannot get past this, perhaps it is time to reconsider who Y/you are dealing with. This might indicate that person’s lack of maturity.

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Emotional mastery is one of the vital components that every good Master has. It is impossible to control another if one cannot control oneself. Most of the world’s philosophies have taught this concept for centuries. A slave needs the guidance of a Master yet this is hindered if that person is unstable.

A slave craves consistency which can only come from a stable Master. The world is full of people who respond inconsistently based upon their emotional state in the moment. This is not an effective way for a Master to train a slave. Having consist responses to behaviors allows a slave to trust. Inconsistency destroys this trust.

Many people come from backgrounds that were full of inconsistent behavior. The entering into the Master/slave relationship is done with the intention of getting what was missing in our other relationships. One who is accustomed to dealing with undisciplined people will crave that in a Master. Receiving responses that correspond with the parameters of conduct established allow a slave to grow exponentially.

Learn how to master your emotions. It is beneficial to expect mistakes on the part of a slave and to not react to them. Discipline should never be administered in anger. That is abuse. Punishments should be meted out in proportion to the offense. Controlling of one’s emotions is the foundation by which a good Master operates.

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