Posts Tagged ‘fantasy’

I am a great fan of tied tits, in fact anything to do with playing with tits gets my approval * provided it is something enjoyable to both of us*. I have heard many times that someone cannot tie or bind their sub/slaves tits because they are too small, well with a bit of imagination and adaptation I am sure there will be a way you can that will be pleasurable to you both.

I love to place clothes pegs/clamps/mousetraps/chains and various other implements onto my slaves tits, the look on her face at the first ‘bite’ tells me she loves it as well, in fact she is the one who usually ends up begging me for more, add to the play time a crop or switch and starting gently tap the nipples and you will end up with a slave writhing as much as she can wanting more.

A word of warning though – the nipples are sensative, full of nerves so when tying them take care to not leave the ropes/clips/pegs etc on for too long as you could cause damage, and this is something we want to aviod !


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As readers of this blog know I love to experiment and play around with different aspects of BDSM, indeed with out experimentation and ‘trial and error’ how is one to know what is enjoyable to them and their subs/slaves ?

One of the things that has come as no surprise to me is the pleasure that my slave gets from waxing – this was something she was uncertain of previously as she had had a bad experience at the hands of an untrained Master and so it was something that while she knew I enjoyed doing she was understandably reluctant to actually have it done to her. It took time slowly build up the trust needed but when that trust was there 100% and she allowed herself to move past the memories she has now found it is something that awards us both a great deal of pleasure. I am a great believer in safety and being aware of the mindset of your sub or slave – use your eyes and your knowledge of those you own to keep them safe.

I have put together a few basic points to try to ensure the fun is had by all

Candle wax for BDSM play should not cause burns. There can be a reddening of the skin but this should clear up in a few hours at the most.

⃙ Avoid beeswax candles as Beeswax burns at a much higher temperature than plain paraffin candles and can cause burns.
⃙Avoid beef tallow candles. Wax made from animal fat can be extremely hot and cause burning.
⃙ Avoid candles with metallic colours, these often contain poisonous metallic salts.
⃙ Avoid scented candles. Scented candles burn at a higher temperature because of their perfume content and may cause scalding.
⃙ Avoid candles with metal wicks, metal wick can drip hot molten metal on the sub/slave
Have a bucket of water or fire extinguisher close by, a candle can be knocked over very easily especially if the sub/slave is ‘writhing’ around, a tied sub/slave and a bed on fire is not a good combination.


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When people mention BDSM, all sorts of things run through their heads, ropes, whips, pain,tears to name but a few, but very rarely unless you are into this way of life are your first thoughts pleasure, orgasms, bondage,play time, etc etc so why is this ?

I think its because the internet for all its usefulness also portrays it as a way of life that can be cruel and harsh, the pictures found when you search the sites range from vanilla to extreme and unless you are fmiliar with the lifestyle and most of its components * I say most as I really feel that no one person is familiar with ALL the different things BDSM means to others * it can be very intimidating.

One of the first things people like to experiment with is bondage, and this is something that can be built on over time, starting out with a simple hand tying then building to ankles and finally full body and suspension, as with all things it is recommended that you do not jump the stages, a novice is not really qualified to do full body suspension bondage as it can have disasterous results !! Take your time, enjoy each stage and learn from it while having fun, its a great way to also build up the trust in a relationship as well.

My advice to all who are interested in this varid and extremely fulfilling way of life is to experiment and see what works for you and your partner, there is no right or wrong and no one way to live this life, the only limitations are the ones you both place upon it – but most of all HAVE FUN !!


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Erotic humiliation is a wonderful technique for those who have the ability to handle such a practice. Be forewarned, those with some past issues might have difficulty with this concept. However, for the majority, erotic humiliation is a method for stressing the power difference in a relationship.

Physical humiliation is the act of increasing eroticism by physically embarrassing a sub. Under this technique, the idea is to make him/her do things he or she normally would not do. One such idea is to have that person wear extremely revealing clothing. Another is to have him or her leave the door open while changing in a public dressing room. Example such as these all enhance the D/s interaction.

In my newest publication, Erotic Humiliation I detail the different aspects of physical humiliation. We can further enhance the experience by implementing verbal humiliation. The idea is to re-emphasize a sub’s place and the power that is wielded over him or her. For those who can handle it, some like to get pretty extreme with this concept.

As always, I stress safety first. However, this is one of the most enjoyable techniques that I know. It can be something that is put in just for a scene or it can be the basis for a relationship. Those involved in M/s find this to be a must for their interaction.

Try this technique out the next time you want to improve your BDSM play. I can promise that you love it.

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Slave in a cage.
Image via Wikipedia

A quick, quirky and slightly fun post for you to ponder over, CAGES.
when people think of cages, they have a tendency to think punishments, locking someone up, imprisoning them, but sometimes that could not be further from the truth, in BDSM play a cage can be a wonderful accessory, it has many uses and can add to role play, it can be used to help a sub/slave move deeper into her submission and it can also be used as a punishment place * although if it is used for this I would recommend two cages, one for play and one for punishment, and the two need to be obviously different, so that the association with one is not carried over into the other one during a scene*
Cage play is something some like and some don’t, as I have said numerous times, that is what makes BDSM so great, the ability to adapt it to suit your preferences. As with all things take care when playing with cages, some subs/slaves can panic if locked in a small place so always be aware of what is happening around you and this applies to whether a cage is used for fun or punishment


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As BDSM is becoming more and more noticed in the ‘vanilla’ world you will find more and more cartoons depicting this way of life, now I do not say they are accurate in all they show but some of them are really funny, and they are using more and more of the more well known cartoons.

I have compiled a few for your enjoyment, I hope you like then as much as I did

A Helping Hand From Jerry

A Helping Hand From Jerry

cartoon femdom

cartoon femdom

zena is having fun

zena is having fun


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Sing ‘Happy Birthday To Me’ and blow out the candle during wax play.

In the middle of an intense cropping, close your eyes and start to snore.

During a scene, do a Howard Cosell impression and provide a play-by-play account of what is being done to you.

If your Dom/Master tells you to ‘Look me in the eyes’, do it cross-eyed.

Decorate your Dom/Masters leathers with oil painted neon polka dots and stripes

Use the toybag for dirty laundry. Forget to switch the contents back before the next play party.

Stick an Alka-Seltzer tablet in your mouth at the beginning of a scene. Work up some saliva to get it fizzy, then call out your safeword.

When getting flogged, start singing ‘This is the song that never ends…’

Become prone to incessant giggling.

If you’re trussed up and ordered to count, inform your top you can’t do it unless you can use your fingers and toes.

Have a wig made up matching your hair color and style perfectly.  It’ll be worth the expense to see the look on your Dom/Masters face the next time your hair gets tugged and it comes off..

Hold up a scorecard after each blow delivered (like in figure skating or diving)

When your top hints at foot worship, hand Him a package of OdorEaters.

If you take a message for your Dom/Master, write it on a post-it and stick it to your rear.

Tell your Dom/Master a better way to do whatever it is being done to you at that moment.

Learn the following phrases:

· Get off Your lazy ass and do it Yourself!

· What do I look like, Your maid?

· This isn’t a restaurant.

· In Your dreams!

· Who died and left You boss?

· I don’t think so!

· Homey don’t play that game.

· Yeah, right!

Use them as often as possible.

After a particularly hard blow, pretend to pass out. When your dom/me checks to see if you’re OK, jump up and yell ‘Gotcha!

Go in the toy bag and superglue the nipple clamps shut.

Ignore your top until He utters the magic word.

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Asian In Control

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Many come into this lifestyle by getting involved with someone online.  The Internet has allowed for communication and interaction with others worldwide.  A drawback to this wide communication network is that we have lost a lot of the one-on-one interaction.  This is seen in the BDSM arena where people have “online relationships” which they mistake for being the real thing.

Let us start by saying that an online BDSM relationship is not the same as a “real/time” relationship.  They are two completely different worlds.  Too many mistakenly believe that the later will be the same as the online was.  Sadly, this is not the truth.  Online tends to glamorize the relationships.  It is when one makes the switch to real/time that reality hits her squarely in the face.  In this instance, she often wonders what happened to the wonderful relationship that she had.

Often a sub/slave is asked to do things when online which are a test to see her level of commitment.  Of course, without being there, a Dom/Master has no way of knowing if the task was accomplsihed (in many instances).  It is left to the word of the sub/slave.  Many times she will agree to something knowing that she is not going to do it.  When living online, she can get away with this.

The same cannot be said for reality.  When she is with her Dom/Master, he will know if something is not complete.  In these instances, He probably will opt for some form of punishment.  Again, online punishments are a lot different then real world.  Some of the actions which might result:

-she might be told to hold off pissing for a few hours (one of my personal favorites)

-she might have to sleep on the floor for a certain length of time.

-her meals may be served in a dog dish

-her residence may be a cage for a day or so

-she may find that orgasms are prohibited for a few weeks (or longer)

-or she could find that she is ignored for a long period of time while her Dom/Master lavishes attention on another.

These are just a few of the options that One might choose.  The point is that real/time is vastly different than online.  For many online, it really is a fantasy game to them.  They are not serious about the lifestyle.  I believe this is why they resist when it comes time to transition to the real world.  Their intention was simply to play for a while.  The dedication that is necessary to be successful in a real relationship is too much for many to handle.  Yet they often believe what they are engaging in is real.  Sadly for those who are in this situation, it is not.

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