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Posts Tagged ‘femdom’

As readers of this blog know I love to see pictures of real people doing real things in terms of BDSM. To me there is nothing more erotic than to know that, while the professional pictures get the ideas across about how exciting this lifestyle is, it is the real people actually practicing things they see online that make it real.

I have found a great site that shows some of those pictures and I am enjoying looking at them and in some cases adapting their ideas to my own life and sexual practices, much to the enjoyment of my slave and sub !!!

Take a look and see for yourself real people practicing their kink !! [url=http://www.newbienudes.com/?ref=z2371489]Nude Amateurs.[/url]



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When we look at BDSM and some of the things it can stand for, we mention wax play, spankings, bondage, oral sex and sex in general to name just a few parts of it. As I am a Master I tend to look at things from a Masters point of view and while most of what I say is relevant for both Masters and Mistresses there are obviously one basic differences, one is Male and one is Female, that said as far as the BDSM world is that is the only real difference.

When we talk of bondage, this is something that can be applied to both male and female subs and slaves, the same as nipple clamps can be used on both, and tying tits on a female slave may be something you find exciting, for a Mistress tying and binding a cock or balls can have the same desired effect.
The same is true for wax play, it is something that has no gender, it is a universal play that can be enjoyed by all involved regardless of the gender or dynamic of the relationship. In fact when looked at properly there are very few things enjoyed in the BDSM lifestyle that is gender specific,

With that said there seems to be just one thing that ALL in BDSM agree on, this is a lifestyle and it is something that is not a one size fits all life, it is something that each tailor to suit their needs and desires, that is why it is a growing lifestyle, its main aim is to enjoy and have fun with it

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Floating candle
Image via Wikipedia

I have posted about wax play before but have decided to add more to it, as it is one of the most erotic forms of sensual play I have known.

The basics of wax play are relatively simple, a candle ( I have found the cheap white ones best for a number of reasons, mainly as they burn cooler and are unperfumed so less chance of an allergic reaction to them ) and a body, simple really. There are a few tips I can give you, making sure the part of the body you are going to play with is relatively hair free makes the cleaning up easier, if that is not possible, a little petroleum jelly helps when applied before hand. You can add to the play by running an ice cube over the skin either before or after the wax, this gives both a hot and cold sensation to the slave and heightens the sensitivity of the skin.

The main thing with wax play is safety and enjoyment, be aware of what you are doing at all times, listen to your sub or slave and make sure she is happy with what is happening and finally enjoy

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Much in this way of life is said about a sub or slave serving her Dom/Master, that it is His pleasure that matters, no matter what the task is it is His satisfaction that is important be it fetching Him a drink or during a scene, what He wishes is what is important and there is no geater time that this is evident than in oral sex.

Very few subs or slaves can honestly say they can orgasm from giving their Dom or Master oral sex yet they do this if it is asked of them, so why when they receive no pleasure themselves do they want to do it ? Simply put it is because it pleases their Dom or Master.

Submitting to another means you will do as they wish within the boundries of your relationship and this is more evident when it involves sex, as this is where even those who are not in a 24/7 relationship tend to submit, and the pleasure of the Owner is always the focus.

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“It is possible to establish a series of activities that all serve to humiliate a sub. As we have shown, everything in this genre is done with the intention of showing the inequality of the relationship while often going against the commonly acceptable ideals of society. A Dom can implement rituals or behaviors into the daily activity of a sub to further impress these points.

The method which a Dom and sub walk in public can be altered to fit this end. In most relationships, people walk side-by-side when going down the street or through a store. This can be amended so that your sub walks behind you. This is more like the Eastern tradition where servants walked behind their rulers. Again, it shows the inequality of the relationship.

I like to have a sub serve my every whim. In addition to preparing the meals, a sub can be instructed to refill your drink, get your shoes, or change the television channel. Being dictated
at is not something that our culture promotes. We are taught self reliance and to take care of ourselves. Having a sub do the most menial of tasks which are easily handled can be humiliating. I found the more absurd the activity, the more the impact was.

You can also take this to another level by having him or her worship certain body parts. It is not uncommon to have a sub kiss your feet in an effort to show his/her appreciation and obedience. The licking of the anus is another activity which shows a sub’s position. Many times, the sub will take a subservient posture when receiving the order and following through. Anytime one is physically lower than another, the concept is enhanced.”

Copied from Erotic Humiliation, pg. 45

Click here to get your copy of An Owned Life

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There are times that a Dom or Master who owns more than one sub/slave will expect them to play together to please Him, this is something that many new to this life cannot understand, they think that as they serve their Master then that is the only one they will have sex or sexual contact with, this is something they can be sadly mistaken about.

The wishes of the Dom or Master are what matter, and the desire for others to share in their property is something many find erotic, they like to allow others to use the pussy they own, to make their sub/slave suck anothers cock or pussy at their direction, this is a process of submission that many shy away from but I always ask why, as their bodies are not theirs, they belong to me and it is mine to use or share as I wish.
I have also found that getting one sub/slave to administer punishment on another * under my direction and usually in the form of a paddling* is very demeaning for the receiver,they have submitted to me yet I am allowing another to give them something they think I should be the one to administer, it also helps them to realise that I am the one who determines what is going to happen in the relationship,

Having others use your property is a humiliating process for many but as long as you are there and aware of what is going on it is also a wonderful addition to the scene.

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We have spoken briefly about erotic humiliation in BDSM, and have explained that this is something that is different for each sub or slave, if a certain sub likes to be treated as a dog for example then this will have little or no effect on them if you use this as a humiliation technique, the same as if a sub likes to be called name, using this will not have the desired effect on her if you call her a whore or slut. The same is true for water play, if a sub like being peed on then this will not humiliate her, however those who do not like this will find it degrading. For more information on this subject there is a great new book detailing the different things to be aware of and also providing some helpful hints and ideas, for your copy please visit Erotic Humiliation
Waterplay is a fetish within the BDSM realm, it is also something that many enjoy, for various reasons, and it can be taken from a simple peeing on your property to them having to drink your piss or indeed, with practice as it is not as simple as it sounds, actually pissing inside your sub.
Whatever your feelings on waterplay it is something to think about, experiment with and have fun with.

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Having touched briefly on FEMDOM I hope to expand slightly on this subject and maybe throw a bit more light on this particular section of BDSM
If ask people in a vanilla relationship about femdom, chances are they will say something along the lines of “ oohh that’s wimpy men being bossed around by big butch women” and if I am honest, while that can happen, in 85% of the cases nothing could be further from the truth
If you search the term in a BDSM dictionary the meaning is as follows
FEMDOM: A power exchange relationship in which the dominant is female. Often (but not always) used to refer to a relationship between a female dominant and a male submissive.
Just because a man wishes to cede power to a woman in certain areas of his life does not make him weak, in some ways he is stronger for accepting his desires and fulfilling them. There is a certain element of excitement when a man is teased sexually, it heightens the desires, and if you ask a pain slut they will invariably say that the sweet snap of the crop/whip/flogger takes the pleasure that bit further, so why should it be different for a man ? They too can enjoy the pain element of BDSM.
Whilst we know that the majority of BDSM relationships are Master/slave and Dom/sub, more and more men are turning to Femdom as a way to release the tension in their every day life, many are finding that with the pressure of their jobs they wish to have all decisions and control taken from them and to submit to another’s will, indeed, looking at some of the past newspaper articles there have been some famous names associated with Dommes and Mistresses, they might have been paying for the services of a professional but had they taken the time to look around they would have seen that its not always necessary to do that, there are more and more sexy strong women coming into their own and many more men who are only too happy to serve them in what ever way they wish

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Looking back at previous post, I have touched on the subject of bound tits, femdom and the CBT that can go with that, so today I thought I would take a brief look at pussy play.

As you know one of the most erotic and sensitive parts of a woman’s body is her pussy, and there are many ways to heighten the sensations and feelings to this part of her, and if you are the owner of a pain slut then the various ways can involve more extreme measures but that is something for the Master and slave to experiment with until they reach a comfortable limit which pleases them both.

For those new to pussy play I like to start off with clothes pegs, these are cheap and easily available and they have a ‘bite’ but are not as intense as the metal clamps available. Once the sub/slave is used to these then you can move on to other things, wax for example is another good one, see my tips and guide here for more on this subject.

The only limit to the BDSM life is your limits, and each is different, as with all things, safety is important and knowing your sub or slave is a must, let them guide you as to what they like, this is not a sign of weakness but a sign of a good Dom/Master

Have fun and enjoy all that this life can offer you

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Having touched briefly on wax play, I have decided to revisit this particular activity in the hope to clear up some misconceptions that judging by the emails I have received some people seem to have.
Wax play is NOT about hurting your sub or slave and it is NOT about covering her or his entire body in wax, and it most defiantly is NOT about trying to burn them, it is about erotic foreplay, it is another dimension added to enhance the submission and trust between the Master or Dom and those He/She owns.
When done right, the dripping of wax on a persons body should not actually ‘burn’ them, it will heighten the sense of her body, it will bring attention to that particular area of her body, her skin will feel warm/hot and her mind will focus on the pleasure she is feeling, cooling that area with an ice cube either before or after then the feelings will intensify.
There are many articles describing wax play and its benefits and also the things to watch out for, if you are new to this type of play then I suggest starting on the hand or feet, these areas tend to be ‘tougher’ and therefore less likely to be burnt but at the same time they will allow practice so that you both are comfortable to move forward to another part of the body. The face is an area to avoid until you are both well practiced.
As with all things associated with BDSM and its different forms of play, take care to watch your sub/slave so you know instantly if she is experiencing any discomfort and react accordingly so this is a pleasurable experience for you both, and most of all have fun

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