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Posts Tagged ‘freedom’

You were reading this blog for the last few months and decided this is something that you are interested in trying. How do you go about getting involved? What do you do to entice your partner into trying this also?

To begin, it is important to know what it is attractive to you. Honest self-appraisal is the first step in your journey. Are you submissive? Dominant? What limits do you see yourself having? Is this something that you might want to make as a full-time lifestyle or do you like the idea of being in a scene? The answers to these questions will help to guide you.

For those in relationships, communication is the key. Bringing this up to your partner might encounter some resistence. As we mentioned numerous times, there is a lot of prejudice and misconception out there. It is likely your significant other harbors many of these same ideas. So expressing to him or her why you want to do this is important.

The best way is to start slow. It is not suggested that you go out and replace your entire wardrobe with leather. Nor do you want to create a dungeon in your home; at lease not initially. Look for ways to implement BDSM into your daily life. You might want to talk to your partner about adding a bit of bondage or impact play into your next sexual encounter. If you want to start outside the bedroom, have the dominant One begin to lay down some ground rules. Use terms like Sir or Madam in situations where you are alone. Perhaps you might like to adopt a subservient position by sitting at hid or her feet while watching television. All of these things create a shift in power. Turning one’s power over to a Dom is a fundamental step in the BDSM community.

Education is a powerful tool. Even as you are starting to do some of these things, continue to read and grow. Check back to this forum or my alternate one (click here) each day for new information. It is often helpful to sign up for forum to interact with others already living this way of life. There are many free ones available; you just need to register to be able to post (click here for mine).  This will allow you to post questions that you might have.  Finally, have fun with it.  Resist the temptation to put too much pressure on yourself.  This is a fun way to live.  Life is tough enough on its’ own.  There is no need to add to the stress level.  Enjoy yourself.

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Polygomy is a part of the BDSM community. Many need to be aware of this when looking into this way of life. I have encountered too many people who seem to thing that BDSM operates under the same premise as the traditional lifestyle. There, monagamy is the central characteristic in the relationship. It is one man and one woman (or two of a particular sex if it is a same sex situation). This characteristics can change in the BDSM world.

I must state that not all polygomists are into BDSM and, certainly, not all involved in BDSM are polygamists. Polygomy is a lifestlye choice that is separate from BDSM. It just so happens that many invovled in this way of life also choose the polygomy way also.

Many dominants prefer to have multiple submissives. This is especially true when one gets into the realm of M/s. It is not uncommon to find a Master have multiple slaves. Typically, they each will serve Him in a different manner. Some are brought in more for pleasure while others can tend to domestic affairs. I personally had slaves which assisted in my business matters. Each one was performed a different role for me.

Each slave is different. She is her own person with different wants and talents. A Master is mismanaging His resources if He fails to utilize her to the fullest of her abilities. Also, I found each slave likes different things. Obviously, some really enjoy pain while others abhor it. Having multiple slaves allows a Master to full His needs while not abusing one who really is not cut out for something. I feel it is better to engage in a particular fetish, as an example, with one who garners enjoyment out of the same activity. While it is within my right to push one, it could have negative consequences. This is a prime example of where multiple slaves compliment each other.

The key to succeeding in a poly relationship is to not compare yourself with another. This is something that extends past the BDSM and into the poly world. It is best to focus on whether you are getting what you need out of the interaction with your Master. The treatment others receive is of no concern of yours. This is something that is in direct contrast to the teaching of society. However, in the poly world, it is one of the main suggestions for success.

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Society wants to label the behavior that we engage in as kinky or, worse, deviant. This is its’ way of putting those of us involved in it on a lower level. There is a perception that there is an appropriate way to behave sexually. Anything which strays from the norm is looked down upon. Thus, so are the people who are involved in that behavior.

The medical community seems to want to enhance this belief by focusing upon different fetishes which exist. They conclude that there is something wrong with us because we like things that are a bit more extreme than normal. Again, anything apart from the accepted ideals makes up oddballs.

Ironically, what we are involved in is the norm. The vanilla mindset of missionary position every other Thursday is far from reality. Most people like things spiced up a little more. Spankings, toys, and dirty talk are enjoyed by more couples then do not enjoy them. The only difference is some of us are more open about our likes than others.

Sex is one of the most pleasurable experiences known to mankind. It is something which should be enjoyed to the fullest. That said, who is capable of being the moral authority on the matter? There are many who want to sit on that throne; religious zealots, phsychologists, doctors, ministers, etc… It is important to remember that it is your life. Live it how you see fit.

For Me, I love this lifestyle. It offered something which I failed to find elsewhere. For this individual, the traditional lifestyle simply did not work. Does that make Me kinky because I choose a different method of living than what is perceived to be “normal”? Not in the manner which they are using the term. I am following a path which feels right within Me. That is the difference. I am choosing how I live. The ones judging are subscribing to a mindset that was given to them.

People who are into BDSM come from all walks of life. If people would only cease judging the lifestyle for a short period of time, they would realize that all that is offered here is the opportunity to design their lives (at least sexually) in a manner which is acceptable to them. Sexual freedom entails more than orgies, gangbangs, and bondage scenes. It is a state of mind that tells Me I can choose how I want to live. And, that does not make Me any less than anyone else.

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What is the appeal to so many of BDSM? Why do those who get invovled with this choose to do so?

Sex is the most basic of instincts. It is also one of the most powerful energies that exists in the universe. Consider what people did throughout the ages for sex. Man (in the mankind sense) has gone to great lengths to satisfy this craving. It is something that drives people to act completely irrationally.

The topic of sex is something that many have tried to stiffle. As a basic act, it is necessary to engage in for the survival of the race. Procreation includes sex as part of the process. However, many try to present an image that the enjoyment of sex is bad. That it is dirty and something to be ashamed of. Many in society tried to paint the subject as something taboo.

This is part of the allure of BDSM. Many like the idea of being on the side of something considered bad, no matter how irrational society’s outlook. Yet that is just a part of it. There are also those who choose to be responsible for their own experiences. They shed the ideals of others and take control of their own lives. This includes the sexual arena.

Sex is designed to be enjoyed. In fact, it is meant to be thoroughly enjoyed. It feels so good at many different levels. In addition, people have found there are an assortment of desires such as submission which can be fulfilled sexually. BDSM offers such as array of sexual techniques that many find satisfaction in ways they never experienced. Experimentation is a common element within this arena. Many try things they never dreamed possible. It is exciting to see how one’s sexual limits can be expanded.

Freedom is a big part of the BDSM lifestyle. Even those who are in monogamous relationships are free in their mindset. It is one which throws off the societal limitations that are prevalant within most cultures. People who engage in it seek to derive all the pleasure they can from the sexual experience. Fulfilling the needs of oneself and others is a high priority. Basically, people are free to be who they are. Submissives find a wonderful and satifying outlet while Doms can safely exercise that desire within themselves. It is an opportunity that few can find anywhere else.

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The BDSM lifesyle is not boring. It takes one’s sexual life to another level. The freedom that is associated with this way of life is inexplainable. Many of us have seen our wildest fantasies come true. My entry into this amounts to living two different lives: my days before bdsm and my days since getting involved. Both are radically different from each other.

I like to tell people that this lifestyle allows one to be provocative. By having this mindset, one will tranform into the image carried in her mind. All that one desired to be is what one can be. The limitations are literally removed in this arena. However, the limits of the social conditioning in the mind still exist. That is something that one should overcome to enjoy the total experience this can offer.

One of my favorite celebrities in the last 25 years is Madonna. Leaving her music aside, I always admired her sense of self. She did what she desired regardless of what others called her. She behaved like a slut because that is what she wanted to do. The extent of her exploits might be magnified by the press, but it is fair to say she didnt seek their approval before she acted. Whatever society said was “proper” did not register with her. Also, I believe she is one of the most provocative figures in the last quarter century. Madonna oozes sexuality.

BDSM gives you the freedom to be as sexually diverse as you desire. So my suggestion is to be provocative. Carry yourself as a sex object. Let sexuality ooze from you like it does Madonna. Accept that you can be like this while fulfilling your inner desire. It will be a life changing experience.

Madonna lived according to her own rules. Create your life in a manner which allows you to do the same thing. This is your right. Of course, there are areas where we need to adhere like at work, etc… However, sex is the one area which we all have the freedom to design something that suits us. So if you want to be a slut, go for it. Does leather interest you? Then go shopping for a new wardrobe. Thinking about entering a bisexual relationship? Go for it and have fun. Do you have that burning desire to serve? Find yourself a Dom to fsatisfy that itch. This is all that is for you. It is your life. Live it as such.

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There are many who consider the BDSM lifestyle to be sexually deviant. This is done by those who consider themselves to be sexually “normal”. Of course, the age-old saying “what is normal” comes to mind. The bottom line is what is normal for one is not normal for another. Those who engage in this lifestyle do so because it fits what they like. Anything that occurs between consenting adults is no one else’s business.

Perhaps Y/you are locked into the midset of what is normal sexually. For many, at first, the BDSM way of life seems a bit extreme. Yet, when O/one realizes that there are many different facets to this way of life, it seems that a lot of it is not so far out of wack. Take spanking for example. This is a deviant sexual activity to a few. These are the minority who believe that sex should be a certain way. However, research shows that more than 80% engage in some type of spanking during sex. Thus, not spanking is actually the deviant behavior.

There are those who like to term us perverts. Again, this is from someone who is interested in controlling through their judgements. The fact that I am a multiple slave owner does not make me a pervert; it makes Me One who is following my natural inclination. This is also true for the one who craves being tied up and used by her Dom/Master. It is a natural expression of her submissiveness which comes deep from within. There is nothing perverted about this.

Here is a clue: sex is designed to be fun and enjoyable. How O/one gets to that point is up to them. For some, the extreme side of the BDSM lifestyle is what T/they like. At the same time, many like to drift towards the lighter side. Neither of these groups is deviant sexually. They are people who enjoy the different aspects of this life.

So what is it that Y/you are looking for? Are you someone who craves more sexually. Perhaps it is time to look at what this lifestyle offers. Not everyone who is invovled with it is “leather”. Nor do all participate in orgies, groups, or dungeon scenes. If that is what you want, it is here for Y/you. However, if milder suits the desires within Y/you, that is available also. Either way, put those old prejudices to rest so that sexual life can be enjoyed

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What part do sexual fantasies play in the M/s relationship? This is an interesting question to consider. I have found that many who are involved in this lifestyle arent here because of the sexual aspect of the relationship. Sure, sex is part of the deal. However, it is not the largest part.

To begin, I noticed that most who seem to be in this lifestyle are people with a high sex drive. I do not know the correlation but that seems to be the pattern. Also, those who are living in the M/s world seem to have vivid imaginations. The fantasies which they develop are varied to say the least.

Masters seem drawn to the fact that all their sexual pleasures will be satisifed. It is one of the benefits of being a Master. Nevertheless, what about the slave’s sexual fantasies? Are they something that a Master seeks to fulfill? This will depend on the individual Master yet I would say that most want their slaves to be happy. Unlike the common misconception, most Masters who live this lifestyle are not the ogres and abusers that they are made out to be. Rather, they are loving and considerate to their slaves. So, it I am aware that one of my slaves has a particular fantasy which she would like fulfilled, I will do My best to make that happen.

Living an alternative lifestyle allows for great freedom. Sexual “deviance” is something that I love about this way of life. The normal line of thinking, especially in the U.S., does not work for Me. I like the flexibility which My choice allows. To me, this is one of the benefits of living in M/s. Thus far, I can say, most of My fantasies were fulfilled.

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