Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘happiness’

What part do sexual fantasies play in the M/s relationship? This is an interesting question to consider. I have found that many who are involved in this lifestyle arent here because of the sexual aspect of the relationship. Sure, sex is part of the deal. However, it is not the largest part.

To begin, I noticed that most who seem to be in this lifestyle are people with a high sex drive. I do not know the correlation but that seems to be the pattern. Also, those who are living in the M/s world seem to have vivid imaginations. The fantasies which they develop are varied to say the least.

Masters seem drawn to the fact that all their sexual pleasures will be satisifed. It is one of the benefits of being a Master. Nevertheless, what about the slave’s sexual fantasies? Are they something that a Master seeks to fulfill? This will depend on the individual Master yet I would say that most want their slaves to be happy. Unlike the common misconception, most Masters who live this lifestyle are not the ogres and abusers that they are made out to be. Rather, they are loving and considerate to their slaves. So, it I am aware that one of my slaves has a particular fantasy which she would like fulfilled, I will do My best to make that happen.

Living an alternative lifestyle allows for great freedom. Sexual “deviance” is something that I love about this way of life. The normal line of thinking, especially in the U.S., does not work for Me. I like the flexibility which My choice allows. To me, this is one of the benefits of living in M/s. Thus far, I can say, most of My fantasies were fulfilled.

social bookmarking links:

add to del.icio.us :: Add to Blinkslist :: add to furl :: Digg it :: add to ma.gnolia :: Stumble It! :: add to simpy :: seed the vine :: :: :: TailRank

Read Full Post »

The key part of the M/s relationship is that it is a relationship. That being said, for one to be successful, many of the same qualities that make other types of relationships work is present. One of the vital components is maturity. Some people simply are not mature enough to handle the responsibility that goes a long with a relationship.

We have all seen those people who we know do not belong in a relationship. He or she simply is not mature enough to handle it. Watching these types of people reminds us of watching children. The interaction in many ways is similar. They are so fearful that they need to try to get what they want. The concept of give and take is not there.

How does this pertain to the M/s lifestyle? Similarly, it takes a certain amount of maturity to be able to maintain a successful M/s relationship. A person needs to first have worked on himself or herself before venturing into this lifestlyle. If not, that person will typically flee at the first sign of conflict. Or they will become defiant and hostile (remember the child). This is how the immature handle conflict and interpersonal interaction. It is the immature way of doing things.

For a M/s relationship to be successful, each party needs to be able to handle the responsibility that their “role” offers. Masters needs to have the maturity to lead and guide the relationship. Do You have a vision for what it will look like? Part of maturity is being able to look ahead. On the slave side, have you invested the necessary effort to developing your esteem and worth? If not, can you take some criticism without processing that to mean you are worthless? Often, I see people try to interact with others while not being able to do this.

So how does O/one become more mature? The only answer I can give is to “grow up” and stop acting like a child. Everything is not going to go our way. This is a reality of life. Even Master will be disappointed by slaves periodically. Nobody is perfect which leads to mistakes. A mistake is not the end of the world. It is something that can be overcome. Nevertheless, if Y/you find that the O/one you are dealing with cannot get past this, perhaps it is time to reconsider who Y/you are dealing with. This might indicate that person’s lack of maturity.

social bookmarking links:

add to del.icio.us :: Add to Blinkslist :: add to furl :: Digg it :: add to ma.gnolia :: Stumble It! :: add to simpy :: seed the vine :: :: :: TailRank

Read Full Post »

Absolute, or Total, Power Exchange is  a fundamental premise in the M/s relationship.  It is the one factor which separates it from other relationships.  We have discussed this a bit in the past.  However, I see many who are still somewhat confused by this concept.

Every relationship has a distribution of power.  It might be based upon position such as an employer-employee relationship.  This is more often termed authority but it is a form of power.   There is also the power distribution based upon the strength of the individual.  Here the person takes control based upon the individual personality.  An example would be in a friendship where one party is a dominating figure.  Nevertheless, rarely do any relationships exist where all power resides with one side.  Yet this is exactly the makeup of the M/s relationship.

It is a common misconception that a Master has total power over the relationship.  The truth is that He has total authority.  Whether He has full power over it or not is dependent upon the type of person He is.  Authority is granted by the position of Master.  Power is ceded initially by the slave.  Again, if the Master is weak or misuses that power, He might lose it.

New Masters can often fall into this situation.  They mistakenly believe that once a slave submits, He will maintain the power forever.  This is true in the beginning but I have seen many lose it due to weakness.  This is fairly common when One is dealing with an experienced slave.  For whatever reason, the Master tries to trick her into believing that He knows what He is doing.  Sadly, He is transparent in His ability.  The power she initially gave Him will quickly be lost.

Being abusive creates the same results.  Anyone who physically, mentally, or emotionally abuses a slave will lose the power granted.  Some Masters want to believe that being a slave equates to weakness.  It does not.  I have seen more than One make this mistake.

There is authority in being a Master.  That is something which comes along with the position.  It is granted by Your slaves and others who You encounter.  However, the power over a slave is something that You need to maintain.  I found the best way to maintain it is to help her to keep growing.  This will keep a slave happily invovlved in her development.  Failure to do so will result in the ending of the relationship.  Even though there was a Total Power Exchange, this lifestyle is consensual.  Many slaves have the mindset that they cannot leave until they are released.  However, they can make One’s life miserable if they desire.  There is nothing worse than a defiant slave.

Remember, relationships, even where all authority and power resides with one individual, are a two-way street. If both parties are not being mutually satisfied, the relationship will end.  I believe this is one of the reasons why most M/s relationships last only a short-time.

social bookmarking links:

add to del.icio.us :: Add to Blinkslist :: add to furl :: Digg it :: add to ma.gnolia :: Stumble It! :: add to simpy :: seed the vine :: :: :: TailRank

Read Full Post »

It seems that the M/s relationsip is one where the Master is the sole recipient of all the pleasure.  Outsiders are led to believe that slaves are the ones who continually give while receiving nothing in return.  While this is how it appears, it is not the case.  In fact, the M/s relationship is one of the most mutually benficial interactions there is.

Any relationsip which is one sided will not last.  For a M/s relationsip to be successful, both parties need to receive.  This seems odd when one views it with unfamilar eyes.  However, slaves have a deep inner desire to serve.  This is something which gives them great fulfillment when allowed to serve.

Also, there is the inbred human characteristic in which all people enjoy the growth process.  We intuitively want to become more.  Growing is what allows us to do that.  A Master who focuses on the growth of His slave will keep her happy and content.  It is those who overlook this vital part of the process who end up with destroyed relationships.  A slave who is growing is usually one who is fulfilled and content.

Remember how important the happiness of both parties is in any relationship.  This will improve the chances of success.

social bookmarking links:

add to del.icio.us :: Add to Blinkslist :: add to furl :: Digg it :: add to ma.gnolia :: Stumble It! :: add to simpy :: seed the vine :: :: :: TailRank

Read Full Post »

It seems that when people approach this lifestyle, all common sense goes out the window. In the past, we covered this topic some, but recent events lead me to bring it up again. Some of what I witness out there is absolutely baffling. Of course, much of this behavior is online which can lead one to question how applicable it is. Nevertheless, I would like to take the time to refer to some simple practices which can help.

To begin, safety is the most important factor. With all the publicity that “online dating gone horrifically bad” has received, I am astounded at the vulnerable positions people put themselves into. Whether one is dealing within the M/s community or vanilla relationships, the rules of safety still apply. Recently I posted some ideas which were suggestions to make your first meeting a safe one. Again, this is where common sense goes out the window. Here is a hint: meeting someone alone who you met online yet have failed to meet in person is not a good idea. Get together in a public place, but avoid the hotel room/their place until a later time.

Secondly, in the traditional world, most would not consider marrying someone on the first date. Yet, once someone decides he/she wants to submit, the next available person seems to be the One. They are ready to make a full commitment based upon a few conversations. Instead, use that time to get to know each other. If it is a long distance situation, submit with the intention of uncovering and learning about the other. This will give you the time to determine if there is more than just the M/s commonality there. While things can sometimes move quickly for some, this is the exception and not the rule.

Finally, while this is new to most, the general rules for relationship interaction is still in play. Just because W/we assume the roles of Master or slave, that does not mean that common courtesies go away. Also, lying, cheating, or manipulating is never a good idea. These qualities instantly destroy the trust foundation. Enter the relationship seeking what you can give (yes this applies to Masters also). Relationships where one party is continually taking are destined to fail. Regardless of the position you have in the relationship, honor and respect the other person. If you are a Master, focus Your attention on the growth of Your slave. This will do more to ensure her commitment to You than any amount of punishment ever could.

In conclusion, be smart. This is a way of life that many of us choose. Like most people, we all strive to enjoy ourselves while becoming better for the experiences we had.

social bookmarking links:

add to del.icio.us :: Add to Blinkslist :: add to furl :: Digg it :: add to ma.gnolia :: Stumble It! :: add to simpy :: seed the vine :: :: :: TailRank

Read Full Post »

This is an act that is held in negative view by most of society. It certainly is not th equality that most cultures promote as being something one wants to strive for. Those who are submissive are looked upon as weak. Power and control are qualities which are held as valuable. The successful all have these as their foundation.

Yet when we look a little deeper, it is realized that our society does hold submission with high regard. The difference is that the term is not used. There are two areas where we are told submitting is in our best interest. Between these two, hundreds of millions of people (if not billions) are told to surrender to a Master. Again, they do not use these exact terms yet it is what is really occurring.

The first is religion. Most disciplines teach that one needs to surrender to the “will of God”. It is only by turning our lives over that we can achieve eternal happiness. If we pray each day for what God wants for us, we will lead the life that is of value. Notice the word submit is absent. Yet this is precisely what is being asked. We are to allow something other than ourselves run our lives. It is through the act of surrendering that we find peace and freedom.

Our government is the other area which tells us to put our trust in something other than ourselves. Of course there is no asking for submission. However, we are promised all kinds of things in return for our votes. Each year more people get on the government dole. It is the compassionate thing to do according to our leaders. In doing so, these people are told where to live, what to spend the money on, and when they receive the money. It is when they submit, all will be taken care of for them. Again, submit is not used but we are actually seeing that taking place.

If the two largest entities in the world want to promote submission to them as something one should do, how come it is not acceptable for an individual to submit to another? Consider this fact when you are confronted with those feelings that arise due to your social conditioning. In reality, society wants you to submit, they just want to dictate who you submit to.

social bookmarking links:

add to del.icio.us :: Add to Blinkslist :: add to furl :: Digg it :: add to ma.gnolia :: Stumble It! :: add to simpy :: seed the vine :: :: :: TailRank

Read Full Post »

The popular answer would be sex, sex, and more sex. This would be offered by some of those pretenders who seem to stroll into our gathering places looking for a quickie hookup. Obviously, there is a lot more to this lifestyle than that. Anyone who seeks to be an effective Master will need to ensure His slave is being fulfilled in all three areas. Slaves want direction, discipline, and service.

A Master needs to provide direction for a slave’s life. This is different than giving directions. Any fool can bark out orders. That is not leadership. Providing direction entails creating a series of goals for a slave to work for. Through the achievement of these milestones she will grow to be able to handle more responsibility. The Master lays out a path for her to follow which will result in an increased sense of purpose.

Discipline is another area that one initially misunderstands. This is a far greater topic than just punishments. They are a tool utilized to mold behavior. Discipline is the inner ability to do things in a timely manner and in the fashion set out. A Master needs to teach His slave to be disciplined in all aspects of her life. She will learn things such as attention to detail, effective planning, commitment to results, and self sufficiency. A well trained slave operates at a high level in terms of the tasks she handles without continual input from her Master. She has the discipline to get things done on her own. This is what increases her value.

The final area that a slave needs to be fulfilled is in service. This is an inbred desire of slaves. It is my observation why they get into this lifestyle. A Master needs to allow His slaves to serve Him. This seems pretty obvious. Again, what separates effective Masters from the pretenders is the level of service a slave provides. Continually having a slave handle menial tasks is not effective. An effective Master needs to look at the skills and abilities of His slave to see where she is most productive. Also, over time, a Master needs to enhance those skills so that His slave will expand her capabilities. Cleaning the bathroom will have a degree of satisfaction. However, imagine how good Your slave would feel if she was able to handle Your entire schedule. In this instance, her level of service is at a higher level.

So pay attention to the progress of Your slave. Ensure that her abilities are being used to the maximum. An effective Master will continually push His slave to grow. This is one of the major factors which will provide long term success in the M/s relationship.

social bookmarking links:

add to del.icio.us :: Add to Blinkslist :: add to furl :: Digg it :: add to ma.gnolia :: Stumble It! :: add to simpy :: seed the vine :: :: :: TailRank

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »