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I am a great fan of tied tits, in fact anything to do with playing with tits gets my approval * provided it is something enjoyable to both of us*. I have heard many times that someone cannot tie or bind their sub/slaves tits because they are too small, well with a bit of imagination and adaptation I am sure there will be a way you can that will be pleasurable to you both.

I love to place clothes pegs/clamps/mousetraps/chains and various other implements onto my slaves tits, the look on her face at the first ‘bite’ tells me she loves it as well, in fact she is the one who usually ends up begging me for more, add to the play time a crop or switch and starting gently tap the nipples and you will end up with a slave writhing as much as she can wanting more.

A word of warning though – the nipples are sensative, full of nerves so when tying them take care to not leave the ropes/clips/pegs etc on for too long as you could cause damage, and this is something we want to aviod !

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As readers of this blog know I love to experiment and play around with different aspects of BDSM, indeed with out experimentation and ‘trial and error’ how is one to know what is enjoyable to them and their subs/slaves ?

One of the things that has come as no surprise to me is the pleasure that my slave gets from waxing – this was something she was uncertain of previously as she had had a bad experience at the hands of an untrained Master and so it was something that while she knew I enjoyed doing she was understandably reluctant to actually have it done to her. It took time slowly build up the trust needed but when that trust was there 100% and she allowed herself to move past the memories she has now found it is something that awards us both a great deal of pleasure. I am a great believer in safety and being aware of the mindset of your sub or slave – use your eyes and your knowledge of those you own to keep them safe.

I have put together a few basic points to try to ensure the fun is had by all

Candle wax for BDSM play should not cause burns. There can be a reddening of the skin but this should clear up in a few hours at the most.

⃙ Avoid beeswax candles as Beeswax burns at a much higher temperature than plain paraffin candles and can cause burns.
⃙Avoid beef tallow candles. Wax made from animal fat can be extremely hot and cause burning.
⃙ Avoid candles with metallic colours, these often contain poisonous metallic salts.
⃙ Avoid scented candles. Scented candles burn at a higher temperature because of their perfume content and may cause scalding.
⃙ Avoid candles with metal wicks, metal wick can drip hot molten metal on the sub/slave
Have a bucket of water or fire extinguisher close by, a candle can be knocked over very easily especially if the sub/slave is ‘writhing’ around, a tied sub/slave and a bed on fire is not a good combination.

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When people mention BDSM, all sorts of things run through their heads, ropes, whips, pain,tears to name but a few, but very rarely unless you are into this way of life are your first thoughts pleasure, orgasms, bondage,play time, etc etc so why is this ?

I think its because the internet for all its usefulness also portrays it as a way of life that can be cruel and harsh, the pictures found when you search the sites range from vanilla to extreme and unless you are fmiliar with the lifestyle and most of its components * I say most as I really feel that no one person is familiar with ALL the different things BDSM means to others * it can be very intimidating.

One of the first things people like to experiment with is bondage, and this is something that can be built on over time, starting out with a simple hand tying then building to ankles and finally full body and suspension, as with all things it is recommended that you do not jump the stages, a novice is not really qualified to do full body suspension bondage as it can have disasterous results !! Take your time, enjoy each stage and learn from it while having fun, its a great way to also build up the trust in a relationship as well.

My advice to all who are interested in this varid and extremely fulfilling way of life is to experiment and see what works for you and your partner, there is no right or wrong and no one way to live this life, the only limitations are the ones you both place upon it – but most of all HAVE FUN !!

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Spanking is one of the main aspects of BDSM, that and bondage, add them together and the pleasure is intense, but even when taken separately the fun and enjoyment received from all parties is something that I personally love. There is something about having a bare ass, waiting for the strike of my hand, the feel of the crop that I am wielding or the flogger as I lay it across her ass that I find a great turn on, and if the sub or slave is what I term a ‘pain slut’ then the spankings and the slapping become even more enjoyable.

One thing I have found is that is a sub or slave enjoys the paddle across her ass, then as a punishment it is not something that can have the desired effect, upon saying that, if a certain piece of equipment, say a rubber flogger, is used solely for punishment then they will in time learn to associate that with wrong doing, so it will have the desired effect, however I prefer to use other methods in punishment with those subs and slaves as the message comes across clearer that they have displeased me in some way.

The strength behind a slap or a spanking is something that can be built on, remember we are not trying to ‘break’ them by putting all our strength behind whipping them, that then goes from pleasure to abuse, however we are wanting to strike them hard enough for them to feel it, to enjoy it and build their threshold.
Practice with things you have lying around the house, a fly swat can deliver a nice spank as can a hair brush or slipper, in fact even a news paper when rolled tightly can make a sub or slave groan in pleasure and pain, the only limit to what is used is your imagination and your sub/slaves threshold.

Have fun and enjoy all that this activity can add to your sex life.

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When I am playing with my slaves, I like nothing more than to tie them and add some stimulant to their tits or pussies. When adding things to their tits this could be clamps, pegs, extra rope around them thus binding them, tape, coat hangers * the trouser ones from the dry cleaners* In fact the only limit to what can be used is your imagination, and as my slaves like to moan, I have a very weird imagination !

Clothes pegs are obviously the cheapest option to use, and widely available, no need to go to a specialist shop, the same can be said for office clips, they can be brought in many stores and outlets. If you are going to go for clamps, then start with the cheaper decorative ones until the slave is used to the bite of them, most of the ones available can be tightened as required and are a good way to experiment with nipple play and pain thresholds.

If you look at the ‘toy’ market you will see there are lots of different types of clamps, vibrating ones, wired ones, ones that tighten as they are pulled, ones that make a noise or give a shock, but in the beginning I would suggest that you just keep things simple, there is really no need to spend your wage packet on something until you are both certain it is something you enjoy.

The most important thing with tit play is to enjoy it, have fun and stay safe.

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Floating candle
Image via Wikipedia

I have posted about wax play before but have decided to add more to it, as it is one of the most erotic forms of sensual play I have known.

The basics of wax play are relatively simple, a candle ( I have found the cheap white ones best for a number of reasons, mainly as they burn cooler and are unperfumed so less chance of an allergic reaction to them ) and a body, simple really. There are a few tips I can give you, making sure the part of the body you are going to play with is relatively hair free makes the cleaning up easier, if that is not possible, a little petroleum jelly helps when applied before hand. You can add to the play by running an ice cube over the skin either before or after the wax, this gives both a hot and cold sensation to the slave and heightens the sensitivity of the skin.

The main thing with wax play is safety and enjoyment, be aware of what you are doing at all times, listen to your sub or slave and make sure she is happy with what is happening and finally enjoy

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BDSM is a wonderful lifestyle. Yet, it is just that, a lifestyle. For most of us, it is not life. We are still confronted with the same issues that everyone else is.

I wrote about this very subject in my book, An Owned Life. Too many people believe that BDSM is a way for them to escape their problems. Sadly, many get involved only to find out this is not the truth. One’s problems will follow regardless of what style of life is chosen.

Many suffer from poor interpersonal skills. This is something that can be overcome by working on one’s interactions with others. However, whether one is in a traditional relationship or a BDSM one, the result will still be the same. Someone who suffers from poor interpersonal skills will have difficulty with relationships.

Those who are involved with BDSM chose this way of life for what it adds to their life. Life still happens on a daily basis. We have our share of relationship issues. There are also financial situations which are not enviable. Sickness and death are still part of the program. Anything that the average person experiences, so do we.

The final point that I want to make is that esteem issues are not solved simply by adopting a BDSM way of life. Many new people tend to believe that being owned by another will settle this issue. Nothing can be further from the truth. At the same time, many seem that dominating another will make them “a man”. This is equally untrue. It takes a healthy esteem to be able to properly dominate or submit to another. Those who lack it will find their inferiority instilled upon the relationship. This is something that can be overcome if those involved are willing to work on it. However, BDSM will not make up for the lack of esteem.

Do not look to BDSM as the answer to all your problems. Many of us found it to be the thing that was missing in our lives. Nevertheless, this is a choice of how we decided we want to live. It does not absolve us of the other responsibilities of life.

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Click here for your version of An Owned Life.

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