Posts Tagged ‘lifestyle’

How many times have you read on here that BDSM is not a one size fits all ? That each person can tailor their lives to suit them with no recriminations and ridicule, and that no matter what your particular fetish or kink is that there is bound to be some more who like exactly the same as you.
With BDSM it is up to you as an individual to make it your own, and some people like soft core and some the more extreme, but that is what is so great about this life, there are no rights or wrongs, just differences * I am not including abuse in this as that is wrong no matter what style of life you lead *
A Dom or Master who likes spanking, this is not uncommon, how soft or extreme they like it is again not uncommon, there are many who think that a spanking is enough for them while there are those who like the whips and floggers, some like to tie a sub or slaves hands, others their whole body, again this is something for the individuals.
No matter how soft or extreme you want this life, it is possible, and as long as you are having fun there is no reason not to explore that side of yourself, as long as your partner * sub or slave * is willing as well


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We have spoken briefly about erotic humiliation in BDSM, and have explained that this is something that is different for each sub or slave, if a certain sub likes to be treated as a dog for example then this will have little or no effect on them if you use this as a humiliation technique, the same as if a sub likes to be called name, using this will not have the desired effect on her if you call her a whore or slut. The same is true for water play, if a sub like being peed on then this will not humiliate her, however those who do not like this will find it degrading. For more information on this subject there is a great new book detailing the different things to be aware of and also providing some helpful hints and ideas, for your copy please visit Erotic Humiliation
Waterplay is a fetish within the BDSM realm, it is also something that many enjoy, for various reasons, and it can be taken from a simple peeing on your property to them having to drink your piss or indeed, with practice as it is not as simple as it sounds, actually pissing inside your sub.
Whatever your feelings on waterplay it is something to think about, experiment with and have fun with.




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As readers of this blog know I am a Poly Master in the BDSM lifestyle, I own slaves, normal slaves, and when I interact with them I am doing so as Me, a Master, a Man and an individual. The internet is a great way to learn about the basics of the BDSM life, however it needs to be pointed out that most of the pictures and movies you can see are done using actors and actresses, they are people but it is questionable whether they are real subs or slaves, and indeed real Masters and Doms, now this is a blanket statement and I apologise in advance to those out there who are true, however I am mainly referring to the hard core pictures and the extreme videos.

Having owned a few slaves in my time, I am still waiting for the one who can bend into those positions and hold them for any length of time, and I am also more than willing to meet one who will look that good and with full make up with nothing smudged after a few hours into a scene, it has not happened yet on either score.

What I am saying is subs and slaves, Masters and Doms are REAL people, we are not actors and we are not being pain a huge amount of money for living as we do, please remember this when you are looking at the pictures and watching the films, just because she can do it on tape does not mean everyone can move or bend like that, search for the amateur pictures, and see real people doing real things, you will be surprised, pleasantly I hope


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I have had a few comments regarding the last post on spanking I did, and would like to clear a few misconceptions up if I may, as it seems some who are new to this are having a few problems accepting that some subs/slaves actually enjoy being spanked, the key word here is SOME, not all like this and that is something as a Master or Dom you need to establish before you go wading in with a bull whip, hell even those who like to be spanked do not always welcome a bull whip !
There are many ways to spank someone, and indeed many places as well, the tits are a favourite, the ass, as well as the pussy, you can use your hand or you can use a paddle, a crop, a kitchen spatula,a hair brush, even a fly swat works, they all provide a sting when used properly.
When a sub or slave is spanked make no mistake, it does hurt, but it has been described to me as a ‘good pain’ now not being one who wants to be paddled myself I can only listen to what is being said, many subs and slaves say that their minds open to the pain and it releases them to another ‘zone’ that the pain then does not hurt but excites them and some can orgasm from being spanked alone, this I know is not the case in everyone but from experience I do know that after a spanking everyone I have then carried on the scene with have been all to ready for me and the power of their pleasure is intensified. Is this from the paddling ? Who knows but while they enjoy it and so do I, then I see no reason to stop with this fun past time.


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A woman's back covered with different coloured...
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Wax play is something that many talk about, and few seem to do, this is always a mystery to me as to why, as when it is done correctly it is a wonderful addition to foreplay and indeed it has many deeper meanings as well, I mean who in their right mind will lay still and let another person drip hot wax all over them if they do not 100% trust them, it can be seen as another step into total submission * this does not mean however that if you don’t like wax play you are not submissive, as I say all the time, this life is one that allows you to fit it to your specific needs and desires *
The benefits of wax play are mainly for the sub/slave admittedly but at the same time it is something that is just one more added attraction to the BDSM lifestyle, the infliction of controlled pain.
If you hold a flame to your hand you will burn yourself, so why should you think that dripping hot wax on someone will not do the same? The secret is in the type of candle used, the distance you hold the candle from the body, and the area you are dripping the wax onto. There are many sensitive parts on a body, for my purpose I will be referring to a female body, the nipples, the pussy and the navel are amongst the main ones, and if you pour hot wax on any of those areas chances are your sub or slave will be off the table/floor and swearing up a blue storm at the pain of it. The idea is to hold the candle above the body, and slowly drip the melted wax onto their body, if dripped from a distance of say 12-15 inches the wax has time to cool a bit before it hits the skin, thus not burning but leaving a warm feeling, this is especially good for those new to this play. For extra fun ice can be used to ‘numb’ the area you are playing with both before and after, the combination of hot and cold is exhilarating.
If you are new to wax play, try it on yourself first, learn what works for you and then you can move onto your sub or slave, take care when first entering this part of play, it is something that can bring a lot of pleasure but if not done right a lot of pain as well for more advice please read here


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Slave in a cage.
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A quick, quirky and slightly fun post for you to ponder over, CAGES.
when people think of cages, they have a tendency to think punishments, locking someone up, imprisoning them, but sometimes that could not be further from the truth, in BDSM play a cage can be a wonderful accessory, it has many uses and can add to role play, it can be used to help a sub/slave move deeper into her submission and it can also be used as a punishment place * although if it is used for this I would recommend two cages, one for play and one for punishment, and the two need to be obviously different, so that the association with one is not carried over into the other one during a scene*
Cage play is something some like and some don’t, as I have said numerous times, that is what makes BDSM so great, the ability to adapt it to suit your preferences. As with all things take care when playing with cages, some subs/slaves can panic if locked in a small place so always be aware of what is happening around you and this applies to whether a cage is used for fun or punishment


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Much is said about BDSM, and how it is something that many are now realising is what they enjoy and what they like to have as part of their lives, from a simple spanking during sex to the more extreme whips and floggers, but did you realise that BDSM in one form or another has been around for centuries, that we are in fact just building on ideas started in the Roman times and taken from there in how it has been built into a life style for us today.
BDSM and the D/s M/s relationships are nothing new, the basic principles are within reason the same as they always have been, the submission to a higher authority, the serving of One, all of which form apart of this life, all we have done is moved it on a bit further and who knows, in years to come it could have been moved further still, I for one look forward to seeing how it evolves.


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