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Many come into this lifestyle by getting involved with someone online.  The Internet has allowed for communication and interaction with others worldwide.  A drawback to this wide communication network is that we have lost a lot of the one-on-one interaction.  This is seen in the BDSM arena where people have “online relationships” which they mistake for being the real thing.

Let us start by saying that an online BDSM relationship is not the same as a “real/time” relationship.  They are two completely different worlds.  Too many mistakenly believe that the later will be the same as the online was.  Sadly, this is not the truth.  Online tends to glamorize the relationships.  It is when one makes the switch to real/time that reality hits her squarely in the face.  In this instance, she often wonders what happened to the wonderful relationship that she had.

Often a sub/slave is asked to do things when online which are a test to see her level of commitment.  Of course, without being there, a Dom/Master has no way of knowing if the task was accomplsihed (in many instances).  It is left to the word of the sub/slave.  Many times she will agree to something knowing that she is not going to do it.  When living online, she can get away with this.

The same cannot be said for reality.  When she is with her Dom/Master, he will know if something is not complete.  In these instances, He probably will opt for some form of punishment.  Again, online punishments are a lot different then real world.  Some of the actions which might result:

-she might be told to hold off pissing for a few hours (one of my personal favorites)

-she might have to sleep on the floor for a certain length of time.

-her meals may be served in a dog dish

-her residence may be a cage for a day or so

-she may find that orgasms are prohibited for a few weeks (or longer)

-or she could find that she is ignored for a long period of time while her Dom/Master lavishes attention on another.

These are just a few of the options that One might choose.  The point is that real/time is vastly different than online.  For many online, it really is a fantasy game to them.  They are not serious about the lifestyle.  I believe this is why they resist when it comes time to transition to the real world.  Their intention was simply to play for a while.  The dedication that is necessary to be successful in a real relationship is too much for many to handle.  Yet they often believe what they are engaging in is real.  Sadly for those who are in this situation, it is not.

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Online World

The Internet really changed the way the BDSM world operates.  This technology really made it possible for the lifestyle to move from an “underground” society to something that is more accepted.  The spread of information has allowed new people to learn about something which was previously not accessible to them.  This is a wonderful benefit of this.

However, there is a drawback to this also.  Many engage in online activities which makes them believe that what they are experiencing is real.  While the Internet is a wonderful tool, it is important to remember that is all it is.  This mechanism allows for one to meet people from all over the world.  Yet, this can never replace the real time contact that is truly what this lifestyle is really about.

What is the Internet beneficial for.

1. It allows one to access to a wider range of ideas and techniques.

2. An online relationship will allow one to learn more about a potential Dom/Master and for a basis for a relationship to form (if both parties are honest).

3. A network of other subs/slaves can be set up to receive guidance from more experienced people.

This is what the online world offer.   Please do not think that it is real.  The step from online to real is vastly different.  I see so many who think that because they were involved online for the past 2 years that they are experienced.  It is not so.  Until you dealt with the day-to-day issues of being with a Dom/Master or the daily interaction with a sub/slave, you really haven’t experienced what this life is all about.  Perhaps there was a glimpse of it.  Yet it is not until the relationship moves into real time that there is truly a BDSM situation.  Short of that, it is more fantasy or role playing.

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“I want to find a Master to submit to”. “I am looking for a slave to train and use”. These are the utterances of those seeking to find someone to be with. However, how many really take the time to decide what they want long-term? Judging by the approach that I witness, it becomes obvious that few consider the path they are going to take.

Online interaction takes a completely different look than a real life M/s relationship. That being said, I find the Internet a wonderful way to meet potential slaves and to begin the process of training them. There is a great deal that can be done without being in the same geographic area. I believe that lifting a slave’s esteem is one of the most important aspect of the training. There is a great many ways to accomplish this through the online interaction. Nevertheless, this will never replace the in-person relationship which a Master and slave can have.

When entering these situations, what is the ultimate goal here? For me, the ultimate goal is to end up physically with my slaves. I make this known immediately. Some are taken aback when I ask them if they are willing to relocate to me and in what time frame. This is how I judge how real a person is. Notice how it says willing to. Of course, I will not insist on a slave relocating without getting to know her first. Yet if a slave cannot envision herself ever moving to me, I see no point in any further interaction. The entire situation become an online game in my opinion.

The fact that there is a time element makes it easier to ask this question up front. In the best of situations, it will take 6 months to a year before one is able to relocate to her Master. Few can immediately leave a job while pulling the kids out of school. This is unrealistic. Planning and arrangements need to be made. Of course, the Master and slave can be getting to know each other during this time period. Again, it works because there is a direction the relationship is going. It is noteworthy to mention that there might be times where the couple finds themselves incompatible during this period. If that is the case, nothing was lost. I had this experience after interacting with a slave for a year. Both of us realize it would never work in person so we let it go.

If getting together is not the goal, then what is? Many utilize the online world as a way to prepare themselves for a real M/s relationship. This is an acceptable route to take if this is what one wants. Again, it is not a substitute for being with One in person yet it will expose one to the lifestyle at a much different level than just reading. For some, this is just a sexual deal. In these cases, people uses the M/s arena to fulfill their fantasies. Many would argue this is not a true M/s relationship but that is for another article.

So why are you submitting to this person that you are chatting with? Why are you accepting her as a slave? These are questions which should be answered before entering into any type of relationship. This is equally true for online as off. Are you willing to relocate? How long will you give to interact with this person before you expect to meet? What type of training are you going to give her? Where does she need the greatest help? What type of living arrangements will you strive for? Some forethought can help avoid lots of hassles in the future.

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