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As I have said so many times, there are many things that add together to make up the BDSM lifestyle and what it means to you as a person, that also goes for those who engage in it a step further, in the D/s and M/s relationships.

There are many types of these relationships, myself personally I am a poly Master, that is I own a couple of slaves, their service to me is I wish it to be, it might be as a house slave or as a sex slave or it might be a mix of the two, the point is, it is what I want and they know I am poly when submitting to me.
I have the options open to me to share my slaves if I wish to, be it with others in this life or having them play together to please me, although it does help if the slaves are bi sexual and get on with each other if I want them to play together but again that is something I decide upon in the end.

When a poly Master lets others play with those He owns it is not the slaves choice, however most Masters will lay down a few guide lines before the scene and be present through out to ensure that the slave is ok and not in distress, again whether he actually joins in is up to him, many times I prefer to watch at first so I can be alert to what is happening especially if she is new or these are people I know but have never had join us before I then have my slave please me afterwards and I have found that they are usually more than happy as this then brings them back to familiar ground and helps them to realise I am pleased with them and what has happened during the scene

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This lifestyle is something that can allow you to step away from the ‘norm’ in so many ways and one of those way is by being POLY – owning multiple slaves. Now those outside of this life can quite often think that being poly is just a way of not committing to any one person, being a ‘player’ and just adding a different label to it, nothing could be further from the truth ! The pressure on a poly Master is intense, owning multiple slaves is something that involves a lot of work and time, patience and understanding, as I have said many times each slave/sub is different and as such they all need different things, and the way they serve me is different as well, some are house slaves and responsible for my well being and some could be pleasure slaves, their role is in pleasing me, but they could also be expected to move into another part of my life as they progress and grow, there value to me is unique to them, and they are not compared to each other as that is something I do not believe in, no one slave is more important to me than another, they might serve me in different areas but they are still valued as the individual slave they are.
One thing I have noticed is that many poly Doms and Masters like to involve multiple slaves in sexual play occasionally, again in the vanilla life this is every mans dream, two women pleasing a man * or vice versa in the case of Femdom* but this can also be a minefield if not done correctly, always allowing one to be treated to your cock while another looks on is not something I would recommend ever as this will lead to jealousy and issues of self worth, also if a hitherto slave is ‘straight’ expecting her to always lick another’s pussy can lead to problems as well, a bi sexual slave will not mind this but again if that is all she is getting then she will start to wonder and doubt herself, not something a Dom or Master should be trying to install into them. Being poly is not just having lots of slaves waiting to do your bidding, it is also something that can have adverse effects on people if it is not done with the care and thought that the slaves deserve

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Many encounter the poly aspect of the BDSM only to find their surprise at the emotions which arise.  As we wrote in other posts, jealousy is something that is best checked at the door.  It matters little whether we are referring to a scene or to a long term relationship, the impact is still the same.  Jealousy will destroy one if not both relationships.

There are a fair number of Doms/Masters who are involved with numerous people.  This is a fact of the lifestyle that one needs to accept if she is to be happy.  Failure to do so will result in her misery.  When people first hear “poly” they immediately go to the sexual aspect.  This is certainly a factor where this emotion needs to be dealt with.  However, many encounter issues at greater depths.  It is these issues which also crop up to hinder a relationship.

When One is involved with more than one person, His time is split as He sees fit.  There is certainly the concept that He will be sexually involved with others.  This is one of the areas where things are different than the non-poly situation.  He also will divide His time among each in a way that best suits Him.  How He decides to do this is not for a sub/slave to determine.  Many fail to grasp the full meaning of this concept.  If He chooses to have you sit at home while waiting for Him alone, then that is how it is to be.

The natural tendency is for one to want more.  Unfortunately, it is not her place to insist upon this.  Many will try to “Dom from the bottom” by acting like a spoiled brat.  This will also have negative results with most Doms/Masters.  They simply will not stand for it.  If one cannot accept the terms of the lifestyle, it is best if she seek out something else.  Perhaps a traditional model is a better fit for you.

Many will try to alleviate this entire situation by getting with One who is not poly.  That might work in the short term.  However, He always has the right to take on more in the future if He so chooses.  Again, this is a reality of the lifestyle.  Many cannot handle this type of situation.  The jealousy bug is something that is too great to overcome.  Sadly, I saw many who had to depart this way of life because of this single issue.

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Many enter this lifestyle with a grand curiosity for experiencing many different things. That is a natural part of the BDSM process. It is wonderful to uncover our deepest fantasies while trying to fulfill them. For a lot of people, adding a third person is a dream they want to fulfill.

How does one go about this and what are the dangers? Obviously, safety is an issue so take precaution with the obvious. Safe sex is a constant. Also, be sure to be physically safe. These two things are a given. In fact, they are suggestions for any lifestyle.

Implementing a third into a existing relationship can be a wonderful experience. It can also be a source of tremendous emotional turmoil. They biggest foe here is jealousy. It is important for all parties to be open about what is going to transpire. It is common for a “competition” to form between the two same sex people. The proverbial “catfight” can break out at anytime.

To do this successfully, it is necessary for all parties to care for each as individuals. In these types of situations, it is natural for a stronger bond to exist between the two who were in the relationship. Often, they are in a committed situation which tends to override the feeling for others who enter the picture. Each needs to be honest where he/she fits into the relationship. If not, one might feel like a third wheel while trying to garner more attention. Also, one might feel threatened by the intrusion of another in his/her relationship.

While the idea of adding a third person is fun and exciting, it is also a lot of work. There needs to be a large amount of maturity for all involved. If not, childish behavior can arise rather easily. Beware of some of these pitfalls. There is a lot at stake emotionally. Always consider others before you make any type of decision.

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Polygomy is a part of the BDSM community. Many need to be aware of this when looking into this way of life. I have encountered too many people who seem to thing that BDSM operates under the same premise as the traditional lifestyle. There, monagamy is the central characteristic in the relationship. It is one man and one woman (or two of a particular sex if it is a same sex situation). This characteristics can change in the BDSM world.

I must state that not all polygomists are into BDSM and, certainly, not all involved in BDSM are polygamists. Polygomy is a lifestlye choice that is separate from BDSM. It just so happens that many invovled in this way of life also choose the polygomy way also.

Many dominants prefer to have multiple submissives. This is especially true when one gets into the realm of M/s. It is not uncommon to find a Master have multiple slaves. Typically, they each will serve Him in a different manner. Some are brought in more for pleasure while others can tend to domestic affairs. I personally had slaves which assisted in my business matters. Each one was performed a different role for me.

Each slave is different. She is her own person with different wants and talents. A Master is mismanaging His resources if He fails to utilize her to the fullest of her abilities. Also, I found each slave likes different things. Obviously, some really enjoy pain while others abhor it. Having multiple slaves allows a Master to full His needs while not abusing one who really is not cut out for something. I feel it is better to engage in a particular fetish, as an example, with one who garners enjoyment out of the same activity. While it is within my right to push one, it could have negative consequences. This is a prime example of where multiple slaves compliment each other.

The key to succeeding in a poly relationship is to not compare yourself with another. This is something that extends past the BDSM and into the poly world. It is best to focus on whether you are getting what you need out of the interaction with your Master. The treatment others receive is of no concern of yours. This is something that is in direct contrast to the teaching of society. However, in the poly world, it is one of the main suggestions for success.

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