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Posts Tagged ‘power’

Here is a post to brighten your day a little bit. This proves that even those of us in the BDSM lifestyle have a sense of humor. I found this to be a comical list.

10. You can usually find someone to do it with.

9. If you get tired, you can stop, save your place and pick up where you left off.

8. You can finish early without feelings of guilt or shame.

7. When you open a book, you don’t have to worry about who else has opened it.

6. A little coffee and you can do it all night.

5. If you don’t finish a chapter you won’t gain a reputation as a “book teaser.”

4. You can do it, eat and watch T.V. all at the same time.

3. You don’t get embarrassed if your parents interrupt you in the middle.

2. You don’t have to put your beer down to do it.

1. If you aren’t sure what you’re doing, you can always ask your roommate for help.

You will also enjoy 10 Mistakes Men Make In Bed, 10 Tips For Attending A Sex Party, Top 10 Female Fantasies, and Top 10 Lesbian Fantasies.

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Do you know what it feels like to have one completely submit to you? This is a feeling that is beyond explanation. As a Dom, there is a streak within Me that can only be satisfied by the total exchange of power by another. When she gives herself fully to Me, that is when the itch is scratched.

Many on the outside cannot understand what transpires within One who is in this lifestyle. We are looked at as weird or perverts. This is far from the truth. The desire to control another is imbedded within Us. It is the same as the desire to serve within a sub. This is simply a way that W/we are programmed. For Me, the only way to satisfy that is to find one who will submit.

Rough sex is an act that many from all walks of life engage in. There are many who will sexually dominate their partners during sex. “Dirty” talk is quite common. Words such as “slut”, “whore”, and “cunt” are used to enhance the experience. Also, there are many swingers who engage in the active sexual lifestyle. They choose a model that is different from the monogamous norm. Yet they return to their daily lives after the playing is done. Well, so do W/we in many regards.

The power to be in control is a phenominal sensation. However, it comes with responsibility. When one submits fully to you, she ceded all power over her life. It is now Yours. To derive the full benefit out of that power, One must use it wisely while respecting the responsibility that goes along with it. The payoff is grand.

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Doms and subs are following their inner desires. That is what makes the lifestyle so exciting for each of these individuals. The D/s or M/s relationship is predicated upon each person having these desires fulfilled. A sub seeks to provide her Dom with pleasure. At the same time, a Dom desires to control.

The area of sex is the ideal place to see each of these fulfilled. When a couple enters into the realm of bondage, this is where each is satisified at the most primal level. The act of tieing a sub up creates a streak of power within a Dom. This single act puts in the physical form his total control. He instantly knows that He is in control. A sub also knows that her power is completely removed. She has given it all to Him.

Of course, in the D/s or in a M/s scene, the bondage arena usually facilitates the use of safe words. The sub can call the entire scene off if she is uncomfortable. A slave in a relationship typically does not enjoy this same luxury. Her Master is the One who determines how far He is willing to take her based upon His understanding of her limits. In either case, the sub is to be used for her Master’s sexual pleasure. This is the basis of bondage.

How many of you have imaged what it would be like to be tied up and defenseless against another? In talking with many subs/slaves, I find this is one of the most exciting aspects of the sexual relations. To be used sexually hits us at such a primal level. There is little which compares to it.

As always, safety is highest on the list. Yet, once that precaution is honored, there really are few limits that O/one encounters. Biding one in positions which allows her to be used thoroughly is what both parties seek. This is a payoff for entering the BDSM arena. It is a way of life in which sexual experimentation is encouraged. Deviance from the average is the norm for us. The satisfaction is intense.

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This seems to be an area which creates a lot of resistance. The idea of being completely under someone else’s control is not a comfortable concept for most. Even the truest of slaves find themselves resisting this initially. Giving all one’s power over to another person is something that takes a bit of time to adjust to.

Obviously, for this to be successful, one must have a great deal of trust for the person she is submitting to. This seems like a straightforward thing but it can get complicated. Trust is an individual issue. What breaks that trust with one might have a different effect on another. However, trust is a part of all relationships, even outside the boundaries of M/s.

The Master/slave relationship resembles most other relationships with the exception being the dividing of power. In this lifestyle, a slave willing gives all power over to her Master. This is done because of His position as the Master but also because she feels He warrants it. Of course, this provides Him with a great deal of responsibility, something that many overlook. The one-sidedness in this area is what separates a M/s from a D/s. In the later, power is retained in specifically agreed upon areas.

I found the more a slave knows her potential Master, the easier it is to give her power over to Him. Also, the experience that He has tends to calm her uneasiness. When she knows that her Master knows how to handle different situations, the better she feels about giving all her power away. Remember, slaves desire to serve completely. However, if they feel that One is incapable of handling His end of the relationship, she will have some hesitation.

Finally, abusers of power rarely keep a relationship going. For them, it seems to revolve around sex. This is where they focus most of the attention. While sex is a wonderful aspect of the M/s lifestyle, there is so much more to it. Properly training a slave requires have the internal control to use power wisely. Sometimes punishments are warranted. Other times, it is best to show some compassion for Your slave. This is where being able to control One’s emotions is critically important. The goal is to have a slave learn and grow. Using the most productive method to that end is crucial.

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Of late we have referred to some of the expectations that people have when entering a M/s relationship. It seems that many believe this type of relationship is the solution to all their problems. It is common to find a new person who is truly submissive (or dominant) take to this lifestyle immediately. Years of failure in traditional relationships left them with a void. Finding the M/s way of life is like a homecoming to them. They realize where they belong.

However, as we have mentioned on a number of occasions, life does happen. All that others need to deal with arise in our lives. While the M/s foundation affects all areas of our existence, it is not the only area where we operate in. Everyday responsibilities must be attended to. Failure to acknowledge this is setting oneself up for disappointment.

A great deal of what we experience in any situation is directly tied to the expectations we have entering it. What are your expectations with your M/s relationship? Do you believe this is the solution to all your problems? If so, you might want to reconsider that idea. The same problems that one enters into this lifestyle with will still be prevalent after submitting. Life issues continue to exist. This cannot be stressed enough.

Having someone else involved in your life can help you to overcome certain difficulties. By submitting, many of the decisions are taken away from you. This can be a blessing if one is bad at making decisions. Financial circumstances can change since there is someone else helping with the bills. However, just because one submitted does not necessarily mean that all problems go away. To expect this is completely out of touch with reality.

To have a successful M/s relationship, and to avoid future disappointment, it is necessary to enter with a realistic idea of what will happen. This lifestyle does not solve all of one’s problems. It is a way of living which allows us to be true to our nature. We develop a manner of interacting with another which is based in a methodology which works for us. It is understood that the person we are dealing with is human and will make mistakes. We resist the temptation to put him or her on a pedestal.

A M/s relationship can be one of the most fulfilling interactions one ever had. To be successful at it, there is a lot of effort required by both parties. Remember this when you suddenly realize that this lifestyle did not magically solve all your problems. In fact, different problems will arise because you entered this relationship. Accepting that as the reality will better prepare one to handle the unenviable situations when they arise.

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This is a topic that anyone who has looked at the lifestyle in any detail will come across. Basically, this is the quality which makes the Master/slave relationship different than any other. Those involved in this way of life has selected a path which the power distribution is absolute. It is done based upon the characteristic of the relationship. The relationship dictates this is how it is to be. Each individual’s inner self validates the desire to maintain it.

Every relationship has a distribution of power. In the traditional world, this is based somewhat on the nature of the relationship. However, the charisma of the people involved has a far greater impact on the division. For example, friendships should be 50/50 relationships based upon their nature; yet there is usually one who wields more power in the arrangement. It could be based upon confidence, experience, strength, or a host or other factors.

In the M/s relationship, all power is given to the Master. That is done simply because of the nature of how this lifestyle is. However, if that Master is particularly weak, it can be lessened over time. A slave needs to have confidence in her Master. While she submits and may give total power away in the beginning, if the Master lacks the strength to lead the relationship, she will take it back. This is something that is done out of necessity. It is at this point that the relationship will deteriorate. A true M/s arrangement only works with continual transference of power to the Master.

Also, slaves who are not truly cut out for 24/7 service will also sabotage the total power exchange. The key word for this characteristic is “total”. A slave who is uncertain about her place will withhold something. This is her maintaining control, thus not transferring all power to her Master. Sex slaves lack this quality. While total power is transferred with regards to the sexual activity, the slave will maintain power over other areas. This is a reason why many submissives are not cut out for this way of life. The desire to keep some power is too great.

Understanding this concept helps to clarify if this lifestyle is for one or not. If you are submissive, how do you feel about giving all power over to another? On the other hand, if you have a dominant streak, are you will to take on the responsibility for taking control of another person’s life? With total power comes an enormous amount of responsibility. Be certain this is what you desire before entering into this type of relationship.

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