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As readers of this blog know I love to experiment and play around with different aspects of BDSM, indeed with out experimentation and ‘trial and error’ how is one to know what is enjoyable to them and their subs/slaves ?

One of the things that has come as no surprise to me is the pleasure that my slave gets from waxing – this was something she was uncertain of previously as she had had a bad experience at the hands of an untrained Master and so it was something that while she knew I enjoyed doing she was understandably reluctant to actually have it done to her. It took time slowly build up the trust needed but when that trust was there 100% and she allowed herself to move past the memories she has now found it is something that awards us both a great deal of pleasure. I am a great believer in safety and being aware of the mindset of your sub or slave – use your eyes and your knowledge of those you own to keep them safe.

I have put together a few basic points to try to ensure the fun is had by all

Candle wax for BDSM play should not cause burns. There can be a reddening of the skin but this should clear up in a few hours at the most.

⃙ Avoid beeswax candles as Beeswax burns at a much higher temperature than plain paraffin candles and can cause burns.
⃙Avoid beef tallow candles. Wax made from animal fat can be extremely hot and cause burning.
⃙ Avoid candles with metallic colours, these often contain poisonous metallic salts.
⃙ Avoid scented candles. Scented candles burn at a higher temperature because of their perfume content and may cause scalding.
⃙ Avoid candles with metal wicks, metal wick can drip hot molten metal on the sub/slave
Have a bucket of water or fire extinguisher close by, a candle can be knocked over very easily especially if the sub/slave is ‘writhing’ around, a tied sub/slave and a bed on fire is not a good combination.

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There are many ways that a Master/Dom can use Humiliation in his BDSM playtimes – he can dictate what a slave/sub is to wear in public, a slutty outfit that flashes her tits and pussy, or he could make her walk around naked amongst his friends when he is entertaining, open to all their comments and touches. This is just a couple of ways but I personnally like to ‘write’ on my slaves, a marker pen telling them that they are mine, it need not be visable to anyone else but the thought of her wearing my ‘brand’ while she is in a board meeting or even doing the shopping is something we both love.

The words that you write on your slave/sub can be anything, but I have found that the best ones are the ones that actually mean something to you – for example if your slave likes anal sex then writing ‘ Fuck this ‘ on her ass is a turn on for both of you, especially if she is wearing a short skirt and when she bends over it can be visable, the same as with ‘ Spank me ‘ written on her ass or ‘Cum Slut’ across her pussy.

Experiment with writting on your slave/sub, I am sure you will find it is a great way to humiliate her yet at the same time prove to be a turn on for you both * might be wise not to write on her face unless you are certain that soap and water will remove it properly, it could result in a few days off work otherwise until the writting fades *

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Spanking is one of the main aspects of BDSM, that and bondage, add them together and the pleasure is intense, but even when taken separately the fun and enjoyment received from all parties is something that I personally love. There is something about having a bare ass, waiting for the strike of my hand, the feel of the crop that I am wielding or the flogger as I lay it across her ass that I find a great turn on, and if the sub or slave is what I term a ‘pain slut’ then the spankings and the slapping become even more enjoyable.

One thing I have found is that is a sub or slave enjoys the paddle across her ass, then as a punishment it is not something that can have the desired effect, upon saying that, if a certain piece of equipment, say a rubber flogger, is used solely for punishment then they will in time learn to associate that with wrong doing, so it will have the desired effect, however I prefer to use other methods in punishment with those subs and slaves as the message comes across clearer that they have displeased me in some way.

The strength behind a slap or a spanking is something that can be built on, remember we are not trying to ‘break’ them by putting all our strength behind whipping them, that then goes from pleasure to abuse, however we are wanting to strike them hard enough for them to feel it, to enjoy it and build their threshold.
Practice with things you have lying around the house, a fly swat can deliver a nice spank as can a hair brush or slipper, in fact even a news paper when rolled tightly can make a sub or slave groan in pleasure and pain, the only limit to what is used is your imagination and your sub/slaves threshold.

Have fun and enjoy all that this activity can add to your sex life.

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As I have said so many times, there are many things that add together to make up the BDSM lifestyle and what it means to you as a person, that also goes for those who engage in it a step further, in the D/s and M/s relationships.

There are many types of these relationships, myself personally I am a poly Master, that is I own a couple of slaves, their service to me is I wish it to be, it might be as a house slave or as a sex slave or it might be a mix of the two, the point is, it is what I want and they know I am poly when submitting to me.
I have the options open to me to share my slaves if I wish to, be it with others in this life or having them play together to please me, although it does help if the slaves are bi sexual and get on with each other if I want them to play together but again that is something I decide upon in the end.

When a poly Master lets others play with those He owns it is not the slaves choice, however most Masters will lay down a few guide lines before the scene and be present through out to ensure that the slave is ok and not in distress, again whether he actually joins in is up to him, many times I prefer to watch at first so I can be alert to what is happening especially if she is new or these are people I know but have never had join us before I then have my slave please me afterwards and I have found that they are usually more than happy as this then brings them back to familiar ground and helps them to realise I am pleased with them and what has happened during the scene

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Much in this way of life is said about a sub or slave serving her Dom/Master, that it is His pleasure that matters, no matter what the task is it is His satisfaction that is important be it fetching Him a drink or during a scene, what He wishes is what is important and there is no geater time that this is evident than in oral sex.

Very few subs or slaves can honestly say they can orgasm from giving their Dom or Master oral sex yet they do this if it is asked of them, so why when they receive no pleasure themselves do they want to do it ? Simply put it is because it pleases their Dom or Master.

Submitting to another means you will do as they wish within the boundries of your relationship and this is more evident when it involves sex, as this is where even those who are not in a 24/7 relationship tend to submit, and the pleasure of the Owner is always the focus.

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“It is possible to establish a series of activities that all serve to humiliate a sub. As we have shown, everything in this genre is done with the intention of showing the inequality of the relationship while often going against the commonly acceptable ideals of society. A Dom can implement rituals or behaviors into the daily activity of a sub to further impress these points.

The method which a Dom and sub walk in public can be altered to fit this end. In most relationships, people walk side-by-side when going down the street or through a store. This can be amended so that your sub walks behind you. This is more like the Eastern tradition where servants walked behind their rulers. Again, it shows the inequality of the relationship.

I like to have a sub serve my every whim. In addition to preparing the meals, a sub can be instructed to refill your drink, get your shoes, or change the television channel. Being dictated
at is not something that our culture promotes. We are taught self reliance and to take care of ourselves. Having a sub do the most menial of tasks which are easily handled can be humiliating. I found the more absurd the activity, the more the impact was.

You can also take this to another level by having him or her worship certain body parts. It is not uncommon to have a sub kiss your feet in an effort to show his/her appreciation and obedience. The licking of the anus is another activity which shows a sub’s position. Many times, the sub will take a subservient posture when receiving the order and following through. Anytime one is physically lower than another, the concept is enhanced.”

Copied from Erotic Humiliation, pg. 45

Click here to get your copy of An Owned Life

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There are times that a Dom or Master who owns more than one sub/slave will expect them to play together to please Him, this is something that many new to this life cannot understand, they think that as they serve their Master then that is the only one they will have sex or sexual contact with, this is something they can be sadly mistaken about.

The wishes of the Dom or Master are what matter, and the desire for others to share in their property is something many find erotic, they like to allow others to use the pussy they own, to make their sub/slave suck anothers cock or pussy at their direction, this is a process of submission that many shy away from but I always ask why, as their bodies are not theirs, they belong to me and it is mine to use or share as I wish.
I have also found that getting one sub/slave to administer punishment on another * under my direction and usually in the form of a paddling* is very demeaning for the receiver,they have submitted to me yet I am allowing another to give them something they think I should be the one to administer, it also helps them to realise that I am the one who determines what is going to happen in the relationship,

Having others use your property is a humiliating process for many but as long as you are there and aware of what is going on it is also a wonderful addition to the scene.

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We have looked at so many different parts of BDSM, groups, anal,femdom,spanking,bondage, the list is endless, but we have only briefly mentioned public BDSM.

This is another part of BDSM that can be said to be a the more extreme side of it, to take a sub out in public and give them to a stranger to use, its not something everyone can do and to be honest in todays society it is something that needs to be done with extreme care and consideration. That said there is something very erotic about leading your slave around the street with a collar and leash and with her ass hanging out.

There is not much mentioned on the internet about this practice, whether it is because it is a fetish not many partake in or whether its because its not that common I don’t know, but I do know it is something I personally find very erotic and such a turn on. a point to remember is that in most states this is illegal and you risk being thrown in jail if you are caught, telling them its ok as she is your slave is not a good idea either.

If this is something that you are interested in taking into your relationship then I would like to stress to take caution and be aware of what is happening around you, it might be something that you can look like tremendous fun but if you are not careful things can turn bad very quickly and it is your job as he Dom or Master to protect your property

This is also something that is used in Erotic Humiliation, click HERE to get your copy of my latest book, this is proving to be a subject many are interested in and its selling fast.

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Reading back through this blog, I have noticed that I have been tending to look at things from a male point of view, ok as I am a man this is something to be expected, well today I thought about looking at things from a females view, don’t be worried, I am talking about FEMDOM.

Just as a Dom or Master finds fulfilment in their life when they live it as a Dom or Master, then so does a Domme or Mistress, they are basically looking and finding the same things the men are, they are allowing the dominant streak within them free and at the same time they are satisfying desires within their subs or slaves.

It can be said that as women have an inbred nurturing instinct they are more aware of what a sub or slave needs, I am not sure if this is right as just as there are some strict Doms and Masters having met a few in my time as a Master I know there are some strict Dommes and Mistresses, in fact they seem to have a corner of the market in inventiveness where punishments and play is concerned at times !!

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We have spoken briefly about erotic humiliation in BDSM, and have explained that this is something that is different for each sub or slave, if a certain sub likes to be treated as a dog for example then this will have little or no effect on them if you use this as a humiliation technique, the same as if a sub likes to be called name, using this will not have the desired effect on her if you call her a whore or slut. The same is true for water play, if a sub like being peed on then this will not humiliate her, however those who do not like this will find it degrading. For more information on this subject there is a great new book detailing the different things to be aware of and also providing some helpful hints and ideas, for your copy please visit Erotic Humiliation
Waterplay is a fetish within the BDSM realm, it is also something that many enjoy, for various reasons, and it can be taken from a simple peeing on your property to them having to drink your piss or indeed, with practice as it is not as simple as it sounds, actually pissing inside your sub.
Whatever your feelings on waterplay it is something to think about, experiment with and have fun with.

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