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Much in this way of life is said about a sub or slave serving her Dom/Master, that it is His pleasure that matters, no matter what the task is it is His satisfaction that is important be it fetching Him a drink or during a scene, what He wishes is what is important and there is no geater time that this is evident than in oral sex.

Very few subs or slaves can honestly say they can orgasm from giving their Dom or Master oral sex yet they do this if it is asked of them, so why when they receive no pleasure themselves do they want to do it ? Simply put it is because it pleases their Dom or Master.

Submitting to another means you will do as they wish within the boundries of your relationship and this is more evident when it involves sex, as this is where even those who are not in a 24/7 relationship tend to submit, and the pleasure of the Owner is always the focus.

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There are times that a Dom or Master who owns more than one sub/slave will expect them to play together to please Him, this is something that many new to this life cannot understand, they think that as they serve their Master then that is the only one they will have sex or sexual contact with, this is something they can be sadly mistaken about.

The wishes of the Dom or Master are what matter, and the desire for others to share in their property is something many find erotic, they like to allow others to use the pussy they own, to make their sub/slave suck anothers cock or pussy at their direction, this is a process of submission that many shy away from but I always ask why, as their bodies are not theirs, they belong to me and it is mine to use or share as I wish.
I have also found that getting one sub/slave to administer punishment on another * under my direction and usually in the form of a paddling* is very demeaning for the receiver,they have submitted to me yet I am allowing another to give them something they think I should be the one to administer, it also helps them to realise that I am the one who determines what is going to happen in the relationship,

Having others use your property is a humiliating process for many but as long as you are there and aware of what is going on it is also a wonderful addition to the scene.

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I have during the course of my writing mentioned the extreme side of BDSM, and have shown you pictures of cbt * cock and ball torture*, this is something those into extreme femdom are likely to use. On the other side of the scale is extreme pussy torture, and this is something that a minority of those who practice BDSM like, however I must point out it is not one of the more common aspects of BDSM, and the sub or slave really needs to be what we term a pain slut, as some of the things are really extreme.

In extreme pussy torture it is not uncommon to pierce the clit or labia, and padlocks and chains are used to decorate it, in some cases corset piercing is also used, it must be said though that this is not a wide spread practice and the utmost care was taken to ensure that the sub/slave was not hurt during this process * hurt being the wrong word, but I am sure you know what I am saying *

I know very few people who will actually practice this but for those who do they find it very erotic, and looking at the pictures I can understand why If this is something you like then the BDSM lifestyle is the only place I know of where you can fulfil your fantasies, and have fun doing so.

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How many times have you read on here that BDSM is not a one size fits all ? That each person can tailor their lives to suit them with no recriminations and ridicule, and that no matter what your particular fetish or kink is that there is bound to be some more who like exactly the same as you.
With BDSM it is up to you as an individual to make it your own, and some people like soft core and some the more extreme, but that is what is so great about this life, there are no rights or wrongs, just differences * I am not including abuse in this as that is wrong no matter what style of life you lead *
A Dom or Master who likes spanking, this is not uncommon, how soft or extreme they like it is again not uncommon, there are many who think that a spanking is enough for them while there are those who like the whips and floggers, some like to tie a sub or slaves hands, others their whole body, again this is something for the individuals.
No matter how soft or extreme you want this life, it is possible, and as long as you are having fun there is no reason not to explore that side of yourself, as long as your partner * sub or slave * is willing as well

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We have spoken briefly about erotic humiliation in BDSM, and have explained that this is something that is different for each sub or slave, if a certain sub likes to be treated as a dog for example then this will have little or no effect on them if you use this as a humiliation technique, the same as if a sub likes to be called name, using this will not have the desired effect on her if you call her a whore or slut. The same is true for water play, if a sub like being peed on then this will not humiliate her, however those who do not like this will find it degrading. For more information on this subject there is a great new book detailing the different things to be aware of and also providing some helpful hints and ideas, for your copy please visit Erotic Humiliation
Waterplay is a fetish within the BDSM realm, it is also something that many enjoy, for various reasons, and it can be taken from a simple peeing on your property to them having to drink your piss or indeed, with practice as it is not as simple as it sounds, actually pissing inside your sub.
Whatever your feelings on waterplay it is something to think about, experiment with and have fun with.

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Bondage is a part of BDSM that in my opinion can be one of the most erotic and yet one of the most dangerous, why ? Because if you are unsure and not certain what you are doing you can really hurt your sub/slave and cause damage or in extreme cases when using a rope around the neck death. Sounds extreme I know but it can happen, a sub or slave struggles and the knots tighten and before you know it things have gone from good to really bad.

My advice to anyone wanting to bring this part of BDSM into their lives is to have a check list, even if its only in their head, a mental list to go through as they are tying the ropes/bonds.

#1 Are the ropes too tight ? If the ropes are tight as you are tying them , they will no doubt become tighter as you play, and that can cause lose of circulation, rule of thumb is to make sure your can put your hand between the rope and your subs skin, thus making sure there is ‘breathing’ space between the bonds

#2 Is the sub happy with how you are binding them ? It sounds stupid but if the sub is unsure they will tend to struggle more and this can tighten knots making them hard to remove, especially in an emergency situation * and while we all pray this does not happen being prepared for it is a must, no one can tell what can happen at any time *

#3 Never loses track of what you are doing,,,,, there are times we all get carried away in the moment, the excitement of the play makes up lose focus at times and this is when things can go wrong, always be aware of what is happening so you can monitor the situation, I am not saying that you cannot lose yourself in the fun but I am saying keep a part of you focused on what is happening

#4 Remember that however you tie your sub, that is how she will stay ! Think ahead, its so frustrating untying and retying 7 or 8 times during a scene, the moment tends to wear off a bit with all the repositioning

Have fun and enjoy yourself but stay safe in your play.

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I have mentioned a few times that BDSM need not be expensive, that a trip to the local dollar store or the hard ware store can be exciting and fun, your imagination is the limit you place on what can be used and what can not be, and if you are practical then the possibilities are endless. One of the things I keep mentioning is clothes pegs, these cheap and versatile tools carry a multitude of uses and the cheaper ones are perfect for beginners to BDSM as their springs are not as tight, I have found the wood ones better as a started and then the plastic ones for those more used to this type of play. A trip to an office supply store will find you with ‘bulldog clips’ or ‘office clip’ and even a trip to the dry cleaners can provide you with the hangers from your neatly pressed pants which can be used as well.
The only limit to your enjoyment is your imagination and your sub or slaves pain threshold, so while taking care to make sure that your sub/slave is comfortable with what you are doing, experiment, start with the pegs and see where it takes you both, but above all have fun whilst you play.

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