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Posts Tagged ‘submissive’

As readers of this blog know I love to experiment and play around with different aspects of BDSM, indeed with out experimentation and ‘trial and error’ how is one to know what is enjoyable to them and their subs/slaves ?

One of the things that has come as no surprise to me is the pleasure that my slave gets from waxing – this was something she was uncertain of previously as she had had a bad experience at the hands of an untrained Master and so it was something that while she knew I enjoyed doing she was understandably reluctant to actually have it done to her. It took time slowly build up the trust needed but when that trust was there 100% and she allowed herself to move past the memories she has now found it is something that awards us both a great deal of pleasure. I am a great believer in safety and being aware of the mindset of your sub or slave – use your eyes and your knowledge of those you own to keep them safe.

I have put together a few basic points to try to ensure the fun is had by all

Candle wax for BDSM play should not cause burns. There can be a reddening of the skin but this should clear up in a few hours at the most.

⃙ Avoid beeswax candles as Beeswax burns at a much higher temperature than plain paraffin candles and can cause burns.
⃙Avoid beef tallow candles. Wax made from animal fat can be extremely hot and cause burning.
⃙ Avoid candles with metallic colours, these often contain poisonous metallic salts.
⃙ Avoid scented candles. Scented candles burn at a higher temperature because of their perfume content and may cause scalding.
⃙ Avoid candles with metal wicks, metal wick can drip hot molten metal on the sub/slave
Have a bucket of water or fire extinguisher close by, a candle can be knocked over very easily especially if the sub/slave is ‘writhing’ around, a tied sub/slave and a bed on fire is not a good combination.

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One part of BDSM is femdom, it is the M/s or D/s relationship where the dominant person is female, and the sub or slave can be either male or female, that is basically the only difference.

The use of strap- ons in a M/s femdom relationship is common place and is something that add to a scene or play time regardless if the sub/slave is male or female.

There are many ways to live in a BDSM or M/s D/s relationship and femdom is one of the growing sides of this lifestyle, it does not make a person weak to submit to a woman, and it does not make them effeminant, it makes them stronger as they are following their desires and needs.

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When I am playing with my slaves, I like nothing more than to tie them and add some stimulant to their tits or pussies. When adding things to their tits this could be clamps, pegs, extra rope around them thus binding them, tape, coat hangers * the trouser ones from the dry cleaners* In fact the only limit to what can be used is your imagination, and as my slaves like to moan, I have a very weird imagination !

Clothes pegs are obviously the cheapest option to use, and widely available, no need to go to a specialist shop, the same can be said for office clips, they can be brought in many stores and outlets. If you are going to go for clamps, then start with the cheaper decorative ones until the slave is used to the bite of them, most of the ones available can be tightened as required and are a good way to experiment with nipple play and pain thresholds.

If you look at the ‘toy’ market you will see there are lots of different types of clamps, vibrating ones, wired ones, ones that tighten as they are pulled, ones that make a noise or give a shock, but in the beginning I would suggest that you just keep things simple, there is really no need to spend your wage packet on something until you are both certain it is something you enjoy.

The most important thing with tit play is to enjoy it, have fun and stay safe.

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As I have said so many times, there are many things that add together to make up the BDSM lifestyle and what it means to you as a person, that also goes for those who engage in it a step further, in the D/s and M/s relationships.

There are many types of these relationships, myself personally I am a poly Master, that is I own a couple of slaves, their service to me is I wish it to be, it might be as a house slave or as a sex slave or it might be a mix of the two, the point is, it is what I want and they know I am poly when submitting to me.
I have the options open to me to share my slaves if I wish to, be it with others in this life or having them play together to please me, although it does help if the slaves are bi sexual and get on with each other if I want them to play together but again that is something I decide upon in the end.

When a poly Master lets others play with those He owns it is not the slaves choice, however most Masters will lay down a few guide lines before the scene and be present through out to ensure that the slave is ok and not in distress, again whether he actually joins in is up to him, many times I prefer to watch at first so I can be alert to what is happening especially if she is new or these are people I know but have never had join us before I then have my slave please me afterwards and I have found that they are usually more than happy as this then brings them back to familiar ground and helps them to realise I am pleased with them and what has happened during the scene

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Much in this way of life is said about a sub or slave serving her Dom/Master, that it is His pleasure that matters, no matter what the task is it is His satisfaction that is important be it fetching Him a drink or during a scene, what He wishes is what is important and there is no geater time that this is evident than in oral sex.

Very few subs or slaves can honestly say they can orgasm from giving their Dom or Master oral sex yet they do this if it is asked of them, so why when they receive no pleasure themselves do they want to do it ? Simply put it is because it pleases their Dom or Master.

Submitting to another means you will do as they wish within the boundries of your relationship and this is more evident when it involves sex, as this is where even those who are not in a 24/7 relationship tend to submit, and the pleasure of the Owner is always the focus.

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We have looked at so many different parts of BDSM, groups, anal,femdom,spanking,bondage, the list is endless, but we have only briefly mentioned public BDSM.

This is another part of BDSM that can be said to be a the more extreme side of it, to take a sub out in public and give them to a stranger to use, its not something everyone can do and to be honest in todays society it is something that needs to be done with extreme care and consideration. That said there is something very erotic about leading your slave around the street with a collar and leash and with her ass hanging out.

There is not much mentioned on the internet about this practice, whether it is because it is a fetish not many partake in or whether its because its not that common I don’t know, but I do know it is something I personally find very erotic and such a turn on. a point to remember is that in most states this is illegal and you risk being thrown in jail if you are caught, telling them its ok as she is your slave is not a good idea either.

If this is something that you are interested in taking into your relationship then I would like to stress to take caution and be aware of what is happening around you, it might be something that you can look like tremendous fun but if you are not careful things can turn bad very quickly and it is your job as he Dom or Master to protect your property

This is also something that is used in Erotic Humiliation, click HERE to get your copy of my latest book, this is proving to be a subject many are interested in and its selling fast.

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We have spoken briefly about erotic humiliation in BDSM, and have explained that this is something that is different for each sub or slave, if a certain sub likes to be treated as a dog for example then this will have little or no effect on them if you use this as a humiliation technique, the same as if a sub likes to be called name, using this will not have the desired effect on her if you call her a whore or slut. The same is true for water play, if a sub like being peed on then this will not humiliate her, however those who do not like this will find it degrading. For more information on this subject there is a great new book detailing the different things to be aware of and also providing some helpful hints and ideas, for your copy please visit Erotic Humiliation
Waterplay is a fetish within the BDSM realm, it is also something that many enjoy, for various reasons, and it can be taken from a simple peeing on your property to them having to drink your piss or indeed, with practice as it is not as simple as it sounds, actually pissing inside your sub.
Whatever your feelings on waterplay it is something to think about, experiment with and have fun with.

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