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Archive for February, 2009

As readers of this blog know I am a Poly Master in the BDSM lifestyle, I own slaves, normal slaves, and when I interact with them I am doing so as Me, a Master, a Man and an individual. The internet is a great way to learn about the basics of the BDSM life, however it needs to be pointed out that most of the pictures and movies you can see are done using actors and actresses, they are people but it is questionable whether they are real subs or slaves, and indeed real Masters and Doms, now this is a blanket statement and I apologise in advance to those out there who are true, however I am mainly referring to the hard core pictures and the extreme videos.

Having owned a few slaves in my time, I am still waiting for the one who can bend into those positions and hold them for any length of time, and I am also more than willing to meet one who will look that good and with full make up with nothing smudged after a few hours into a scene, it has not happened yet on either score.

What I am saying is subs and slaves, Masters and Doms are REAL people, we are not actors and we are not being pain a huge amount of money for living as we do, please remember this when you are looking at the pictures and watching the films, just because she can do it on tape does not mean everyone can move or bend like that, search for the amateur pictures, and see real people doing real things, you will be surprised, pleasantly I hope

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I have had a few comments regarding the last post on spanking I did, and would like to clear a few misconceptions up if I may, as it seems some who are new to this are having a few problems accepting that some subs/slaves actually enjoy being spanked, the key word here is SOME, not all like this and that is something as a Master or Dom you need to establish before you go wading in with a bull whip, hell even those who like to be spanked do not always welcome a bull whip !
There are many ways to spank someone, and indeed many places as well, the tits are a favourite, the ass, as well as the pussy, you can use your hand or you can use a paddle, a crop, a kitchen spatula,a hair brush, even a fly swat works, they all provide a sting when used properly.
When a sub or slave is spanked make no mistake, it does hurt, but it has been described to me as a ‘good pain’ now not being one who wants to be paddled myself I can only listen to what is being said, many subs and slaves say that their minds open to the pain and it releases them to another ‘zone’ that the pain then does not hurt but excites them and some can orgasm from being spanked alone, this I know is not the case in everyone but from experience I do know that after a spanking everyone I have then carried on the scene with have been all to ready for me and the power of their pleasure is intensified. Is this from the paddling ? Who knows but while they enjoy it and so do I, then I see no reason to stop with this fun past time.

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Bondage is a part of BDSM that in my opinion can be one of the most erotic and yet one of the most dangerous, why ? Because if you are unsure and not certain what you are doing you can really hurt your sub/slave and cause damage or in extreme cases when using a rope around the neck death. Sounds extreme I know but it can happen, a sub or slave struggles and the knots tighten and before you know it things have gone from good to really bad.

My advice to anyone wanting to bring this part of BDSM into their lives is to have a check list, even if its only in their head, a mental list to go through as they are tying the ropes/bonds.

#1 Are the ropes too tight ? If the ropes are tight as you are tying them , they will no doubt become tighter as you play, and that can cause lose of circulation, rule of thumb is to make sure your can put your hand between the rope and your subs skin, thus making sure there is ‘breathing’ space between the bonds

#2 Is the sub happy with how you are binding them ? It sounds stupid but if the sub is unsure they will tend to struggle more and this can tighten knots making them hard to remove, especially in an emergency situation * and while we all pray this does not happen being prepared for it is a must, no one can tell what can happen at any time *

#3 Never loses track of what you are doing,,,,, there are times we all get carried away in the moment, the excitement of the play makes up lose focus at times and this is when things can go wrong, always be aware of what is happening so you can monitor the situation, I am not saying that you cannot lose yourself in the fun but I am saying keep a part of you focused on what is happening

#4 Remember that however you tie your sub, that is how she will stay ! Think ahead, its so frustrating untying and retying 7 or 8 times during a scene, the moment tends to wear off a bit with all the repositioning

Have fun and enjoy yourself but stay safe in your play.

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I have mentioned a few times that BDSM need not be expensive, that a trip to the local dollar store or the hard ware store can be exciting and fun, your imagination is the limit you place on what can be used and what can not be, and if you are practical then the possibilities are endless. One of the things I keep mentioning is clothes pegs, these cheap and versatile tools carry a multitude of uses and the cheaper ones are perfect for beginners to BDSM as their springs are not as tight, I have found the wood ones better as a started and then the plastic ones for those more used to this type of play. A trip to an office supply store will find you with ‘bulldog clips’ or ‘office clip’ and even a trip to the dry cleaners can provide you with the hangers from your neatly pressed pants which can be used as well.
The only limit to your enjoyment is your imagination and your sub or slaves pain threshold, so while taking care to make sure that your sub/slave is comfortable with what you are doing, experiment, start with the pegs and see where it takes you both, but above all have fun whilst you play.

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Wax play is something that many talk about, and few seem to do, this is always a mystery to me as to why, as when it is done correctly it is a wonderful addition to foreplay and indeed it has many deeper meanings as well, I mean who in their right mind will lay still and let another person drip hot wax all over them if they do not 100% trust them, it can be seen as another step into total submission * this does not mean however that if you don’t like wax play you are not submissive, as I say all the time, this life is one that allows you to fit it to your specific needs and desires *
The benefits of wax play are mainly for the sub/slave admittedly but at the same time it is something that is just one more added attraction to the BDSM lifestyle, the infliction of controlled pain.
If you hold a flame to your hand you will burn yourself, so why should you think that dripping hot wax on someone will not do the same? The secret is in the type of candle used, the distance you hold the candle from the body, and the area you are dripping the wax onto. There are many sensitive parts on a body, for my purpose I will be referring to a female body, the nipples, the pussy and the navel are amongst the main ones, and if you pour hot wax on any of those areas chances are your sub or slave will be off the table/floor and swearing up a blue storm at the pain of it. The idea is to hold the candle above the body, and slowly drip the melted wax onto their body, if dripped from a distance of say 12-15 inches the wax has time to cool a bit before it hits the skin, thus not burning but leaving a warm feeling, this is especially good for those new to this play. For extra fun ice can be used to ‘numb’ the area you are playing with both before and after, the combination of hot and cold is exhilarating.
If you are new to wax play, try it on yourself first, learn what works for you and then you can move onto your sub or slave, take care when first entering this part of play, it is something that can bring a lot of pleasure but if not done right a lot of pain as well for more advice please read here

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Having touched briefly on FEMDOM I hope to expand slightly on this subject and maybe throw a bit more light on this particular section of BDSM
If ask people in a vanilla relationship about femdom, chances are they will say something along the lines of “ oohh that’s wimpy men being bossed around by big butch women” and if I am honest, while that can happen, in 85% of the cases nothing could be further from the truth
If you search the term in a BDSM dictionary the meaning is as follows
FEMDOM: A power exchange relationship in which the dominant is female. Often (but not always) used to refer to a relationship between a female dominant and a male submissive.
Just because a man wishes to cede power to a woman in certain areas of his life does not make him weak, in some ways he is stronger for accepting his desires and fulfilling them. There is a certain element of excitement when a man is teased sexually, it heightens the desires, and if you ask a pain slut they will invariably say that the sweet snap of the crop/whip/flogger takes the pleasure that bit further, so why should it be different for a man ? They too can enjoy the pain element of BDSM.
Whilst we know that the majority of BDSM relationships are Master/slave and Dom/sub, more and more men are turning to Femdom as a way to release the tension in their every day life, many are finding that with the pressure of their jobs they wish to have all decisions and control taken from them and to submit to another’s will, indeed, looking at some of the past newspaper articles there have been some famous names associated with Dommes and Mistresses, they might have been paying for the services of a professional but had they taken the time to look around they would have seen that its not always necessary to do that, there are more and more sexy strong women coming into their own and many more men who are only too happy to serve them in what ever way they wish

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Looking back at previous post, I have touched on the subject of bound tits, femdom and the CBT that can go with that, so today I thought I would take a brief look at pussy play.

As you know one of the most erotic and sensitive parts of a woman’s body is her pussy, and there are many ways to heighten the sensations and feelings to this part of her, and if you are the owner of a pain slut then the various ways can involve more extreme measures but that is something for the Master and slave to experiment with until they reach a comfortable limit which pleases them both.

For those new to pussy play I like to start off with clothes pegs, these are cheap and easily available and they have a ‘bite’ but are not as intense as the metal clamps available. Once the sub/slave is used to these then you can move on to other things, wax for example is another good one, see my tips and guide here for more on this subject.

The only limit to the BDSM life is your limits, and each is different, as with all things, safety is important and knowing your sub or slave is a must, let them guide you as to what they like, this is not a sign of weakness but a sign of a good Dom/Master

Have fun and enjoy all that this life can offer you

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